Life, like nature goes through constant changes, none of us really know what a new day has in store for us. Life can seem to be flowing along, then one little thing happens, then another and before you know it, life has lost its momemtum.
Somewhere along the way you seemed to lose your zest and other situations further weigh you down, then add into the equation some health issues and your heart simply becomes heavy.
Without you even noticing it, the spring in your step had gone, suddenly you seem to only just be managing to drag one foot in front of the other. You realise that you are not living; more like you are just managing to exist one moment to the next.
You crave a break from all the problems, all you want is some peace.
Sometimes these dark periods can pass quite quickly, other times they can linger and propel you into a place that is bleak and lonely.
You really don't see anyway out.
You feel trapped and overwhelmed.
You find that you have far more than you can handle, and you just want to give up.
Each day you wake up ready to make this the day that you will set new intentions, start actively saying positive affirmations again; basically taking care of yourself.
But, then another thing is hurled your way and it becomes all too much.
You can't wait to get home, close the gate and draw the curtains to shut the world out, because the world is a hurtful place.
Attempting to get yourself out of such a depressing state is not easy.
So, on we trudge.
And the weight of it all bears down on you so much that you just want it to stop.
And then something happens; something that is so confronting and so frightening that it shocks you.
Because in this moment you came seriously close to things being finally over.
And in this precise moment, you realise that your not quite ready to leave this world after all...
2 comments:
I can so relate, dear friend! I appreciate you sharing this. I am also glad I shared that I struggle with depression (on my own blog), and I appreciate your kind comment to my post, so I had to come to your blog and try to find the post where you talked about struggling in the same way. My heart goes out to you. I hope that by sharing this and seeing that you are not alone gives you a sense of peace and relief.
Hi Linda, I feel it's important to write about the darker side of life, sharing the shadows that can wear us down, because as we discovered reading each others posts, we are not alone.
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