I often pause to take in intoxicating aromas of a beautiful flower I see. Doesn't matter where I am, if a flower beckons me, I always stop to appreciate it's beauty, and of course inhale it's prue natural perfume.
Nature always inspires me to unfold the tangle of thoughts that seem to muddle up my mind. It's when I am out meandering along that things become clear.
In another six days it will be December, I really can't believe it. This year has been filled with so much grief and despair that it has whizzed past in a chaotic blur.
There's been so much loss, there have been continuing health challenges, and lessons in empathy and compassion, which have been the most hurtful of all. I have made blunders as I struggled to keep my life running whilst dealing with illness. And learnt the hard way that making changes when unwell is not a good idea. When out walking clarity tries to wriggle her way in, yet when overwhelmed and exhausted, the voice of resolution is not always heard.
Its been a year of goodbyes, none expected. Yet, as I am learning all for the best. I have had lessons in self worth, and seeing where I wasn't worthy to others at all, that again has been surprising.
Living alone is mostly wonderful, yet when struggling with illness it tends to get difficult. It's when my body is out of balance the loneliness and isolation become arduous. Keeping positive so strenuous that it leads to dark and dismal places that are not pleasant at all.
But, I have realised that I am resilient. It doesn't seem to matter how much is thrown my way, I keep going. Sometimes it is beyond challenging, some days have been bleak. The only thing keeping me going my cats and chickens as without me I dare not think of where they would be.
Slowly, I am regaining some lightness in my realm again. I take what happiness I can get, no matter how fleeting it may be, and slowly I am finding snippets of peace, a way out of the dense murkiness that had enveloped my life...
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