Thursday, March 11, 2010

Am I Existing or Expreriencing....................

Am I existing or experiencing life?
As I wake this morning I feel that I have slipped into the boring world of existence, have been drawn into the humdrum life of work and sleep. Being of aware of this predicament is reason enough to celebrate, for I no longer wish to dwell in the slumbering world of existing a moment longer, it is back to the world of experience and magic that I return to once more.
After a phone conversation yesterday that prompted my post about friends, and a dream last night about being true to myself, I realise that the message was clear, move away from the hands that invite waking slumber, begging me to join them in their misery of the on going soap operas that their lives seem to thrive upon, it is not my wish to be with those who can not see the miracle our lives are about, to live simply existing truly is not for me, to live life like that is to live life dead to the magic that lies within.
To be burdened with 'friends' that are only interested in what it is I do, rather than what it is I am is not a gift I receive well, I see that to continue on this path will see me return to the confines I fled from in August, trapped and withering, dying alive.....
Experiencing life sees you connect with others on a soul level, a place of deep mutual understanding, a place where trust, love and spiritual connection takes place in an instant.
If you have to try to please your friends, or you are made to feel guilty for not attending an invitation extended to you, then you are not in a relationship based on truth.
If you are expected to do certain things to prove your friendship, then a friendship is not what you have.
I have no problem with moving on from those who are no longer required in my inner circle once I sense our time together is at an end, it serves no one to stay stagnated in dysfunctional relationships, it only pulls one further into the quagmire of need and games that will cause even more grief and heartache to surround you, giving you a life of sadness and loneliness.
You do not need to stay with people just because you feel sorry for them, that brings no growth for either party, the same is said for those that can not get the message that a friendship is over, they hound you endlessly as they can't deal with the inner work that calls for their attention, they focus their blame on to anyone but themselves, not seeing that they are lonely because they refuse to do the work within, they just like to point the finger of blame and hatred at others as it gives them an instant of pleasure, takes away the pain, if only for a moment.
To be alone while your sitting in a room full of people or one on one is a jolly good indicator that you have work to do, you are living a lie.
Having made the monumental step of leaving my marriage last year the initial buoyancy I felt has subsided and I was distracted into the robotic world of existing, I had for a moment lost my centre and found that the magic had taken a break as the Universe watched my antics.
I know that by seeing this this morning is enough to break the hold, to lead me away from those that I remained chained to, the illusion of drama released.
It is to the virgin terrain of experience that I now move my energy towards again, and my hand extends outward towards those of a like vibration to manifest physically into my world.
Break over
Lesson transcended
I am now ready to manifest my life in a much more enlightening fashion once again.....


Natalie said...

Good for you. :)
I left my first marriage in search of my truth, and I think i have found it, finally. Though, the journey was difficult a lot of the time, the rewards are bountiful and constant. (As are the lessons!) :)

Melissa said...

Gemel, you words sing through me. I want to be alone in my life, sans guilt ridden relationship. I don't want to exist anymore. I want to live. I have evolved and changed and my relationship has not. I cry, but I have felt my soul touched and awakened and I miss this alive feeling. I don't know if it's the Spring vibrations bringing my soul out of hibernation, but I want to feel alive and stay feeling this way. It's a wonderful way to live.

I know the journey will be difficult, but it will be so rewarding. I have done so much hiding and don't want to do that anymore.

thank you again for your beautiful insight.

Anonymous said...

your magic reached true to matter what.

I believe in Angels*


Anonymous said...

Wow, that was deep Gem!

Dont get caught up in the trials and tribulations of others - you're worth more than that - like you're always telling me "thats their journey". Go you! I sometimes think we're better alone - I know I am. I have very few friends for a reason. I choose my friends very carefully. Im better alone!! Like you, I enjoy my own company. Some people are like limpets - they cling on regardless. Shake 'em off Gem - Go Girl!! PPLP. X

Gemel said...

Thank you all for your comments, bless your hearts, as I always say I speak from my heart and if any of it touches another then the magic of the Universe has woven its spell once again......

Portugal, wow, that is one of my places to visit, and where they make one of my favourite wines. I love it how the world is suddenly getting smaller......

daisy said...

love the blogs.
I wonder if you can address this issue with me anyone.

I find the phrase
" its their journey "
a cop out.
When someone is on a journey and that journey hurts others, what sort of journey are they really on.

e.g. They have a friend that does not cling or demand and respects them for their beliefs and except everyone for whom they are etc . What happens to that friend when suddenly they are cut loose no explanation , nothing.
WHY is it the friends problem/journey that they feel sadness and request an answer to this sudden unexplained abscence.
It is a natural human responce to wonder what they did wrong to end this friendship. This friend will never truely heel without knowing why. It shakes their confidence in their world and their beliefs.

Nobody that has shared a positive friendship with someone will think .....Gosh i have been cut loose because it is part of my journey.

If someone is truely on a journey to inner contentment HOW can they be content and at peace with themselves knowing the pain they have caused on your journey. It is a journey taken with blinkers on .

I would love to discuss this topic with whoever reads it. The answers will be part of my journey and healing. I dare you to publish this on your blog!!!!

Gemel said...

For Daisy (not your real name, I'm guessing it starts with P.)

My journey is my journey.
Your journey is your journey.
Therefore if you have work to do, then it is only you who ca fix it, lashing out at others is just an indication of the pain that lives inside of you......

Salomão said...

you are where you want to Be...time and space create the illusion of distance... miracles make the illusion vanish.

I believe in Angels*