Friday, May 29, 2009

Change..................

Change to some is a terrifying word, one that confronts all their fears head on and challenges them to tackle them, provoking them to take that first step into the unknown territory of healing and move forward into their tomorrows. A lot of people are stood, steadfast in their belief that they can not change, this is the way I am, this is the way things are, so put up or shut up! When I look at myself and the person I am now and the one I was even last year I know that I am nothing like that person who has dissolved with the vapours of time, I often fight myself when imminent change looms ahead, sometimes even using self sabotage to stop myself from moving forward, although I always know inside why it is I am doing the things that I do. It is always safe to stay as you were before, snuggled up with your all demons, wrapped around you in a shroud of fear, limit and disenchantment, allowing your regret, illness and misery to mirror the angst within. Changing your life patterns and releasing them into the void is in my opinion why I am here, to see through the actions and into the emotions behind them. I change constantly, I crave to see the world and myself in new ways, lifting the veil of the past to push myself further into the uncertainly of a blank tomorrow. I do not do routine well, it bores me to tears, I like nothing better than to take life as it comes, stepping into the virgin terrain of a new now moment, to experience as much in my quest for spiritual remembering as possible, after all we are all spiritual beings having a human experience, most of us have forgotten this! I am growing tired of the mundane ways of our so called civilised world, the modern world is fake and false, it is absorbed totally in having material things, a fancy job and money so that you can prove your worth to the world, lording it over those minions below you, expecting people to grovel at your feet because of who you are. Me, well in my humble job planting new forms of life I am as far from the corporate bull dust as I can get, having been there and done that sort of life I am proud to say I have transcend a pattern worth breaking, I never fitted in anyway, far to sensitive and different for the posh city dwellers, I long to be out in the wind, feeling the earth under my feet, living life, not existing. And that is what most people do, they do not live their life, they exist in their life. Many are too fixated on the future, and therefore living now would not be possible, how can you live life when you spend every waking moment planning for the future? Who knows what our tomorrow will bring? Who knows when their last day will be? We have all, again in my opinion wrote our stories with great detail before incarnating upon this planet, we all know internally what it is we wish to transcend during this lifetime, yet the vast majority of us fight it because we find this inner demand to frightening, it is easy to stay unhappy, ill or simply stagnated in our misery, admiring or being envious of those who confront themselves in the mirror and take action to change themselves releasing the shackles of the old allowing the freshness of a new tomorrow to begin......................

2 comments:

luksky said...

very moving.....and true.

Nancy said...

Great post.