Enjoying A Day.................

Enjoying a day at home these days is a rare treat, I always seem to be busy, especially with my new job, my round takes me all over the metropolitan area so, by the weekend not driving anywhere is often so blissful that I relish the opportunity to completely relax if I have the chance. It is good to able to write again, I now realize how much I missed it, although I feel that I required a period of stillness to adjust to all the changes that had taken place in my life, knowing that to retreat completely was the only way to release and rejuvenate my Self. I have learnt many things in the months of my renewal, I have also seen many sides to human nature that have truly surprised me, the way many people dealt with my decision to leave was one thing, but the reaction that surprised me the most was that many people could not cope with the fact that my ex husband and I are still close friends, it seems that most would rather have the opportunity to unleash their venomous tongues, they are not interested in amicable endings, only gossip and cruelty, their confusion of what to do when this was not a nasty ending had them trying all sorts of tactics to get a reaction of anger, when it did not come though they eventually gave up, moving on to another more interesting subject. When endings come they are difficult enough anyway without the added trauma of bitterness and lies, to walk away from any relationship is always heart wrenching, and to be honest when there is no anger, hatred or blame believe me it is far more difficult to overcome, you do not have the vicious outbursts or heated arguments to vent and release your pent up emotions, instead you have no choice but to work through the devastation within your heart silently and alone. It took me a long time to learn that all relationships start with love, therefore it seems only fitting that they be ended with love too, putting this into practice has been a lesson that I would not trade regardless of all the pain I have been through, it has been an honour to end a partnership with respect, friendship and love. Which leads me to ponder why can't people be more honest, when they feel that they have lost all the intimacy in their relationship why not confront it and agree to end it if there is no way back? Why do so many people take to the next level of anger, affairs and blame, often clinging to the material wealth and trappings of "lifestyle" that they feel is their right to have, whatever happened to quality of life? In my opinion not all of us are meant to be mated for life, and in my observation even some life long partnerships are well past their sell by date, yet for some reason the people involved choose security rather that happiness, I guess it was these examples that prompted me to leave, I did not want to live an empty life that looked all sparkling on the outside when on the inside the sorrow was tearing me apart. We never know when our last day will be, we don't know what tomorrow will bring us either, all I do know is through my own personal journey our happiness is down to us, not to someone else, if you want to be loved you have to be worth loving, and the only way to find pure love is to make certain you love yourself fully before you embark on a journey of loving someone else...................