My First Evening...............

My first evening presented me with a mixture of emotions, firstly I was a little nervous as I got ready for dinner. As I was dressing I was talking to myself, telling myself that I would be fine, that this first dinner alone would be the worst, calm down I told myself you will be okay.

After the ten minute walk to the main bar from my private bure, I settled down with a glass of champagne, attempting to appear relaxed and comfortable with my own company.

As I strolled down the walkway I held my head high, shoulders back and a smile on my face, I knew that if I looked confident, then confident would be what I would be!

It seemed to have worked as while I was sitting here I did actually feel confident.

Actually, sitting there alone was not that bad, the staff were extremely friendly and all lingered at my table when passing, bless them, maybe they saw the terror in my eyes!

As I relaxed into myself I realized what a step it was that I had taken, here I was, completely alone, and, after the initial shock at having to do the eating alone thing, I actually had to smile to myself as it was not half as bad as I had expected.

Sure, everybody stared at me when I walked in, and none of them seemed to enthusiastic at commencing a conversation, but it did not matter. I really was enjoying my own company and watching the antics of those around me, in fact, I felt free of judgements both of myself and of others, I was simply sitting there being Gemel.

So with my feet up on the table I sat sat back and took a long deep breath and just savored the thrill of the moment, taking in every sound around me, and knowing that this moment would never be forgotten, as it was in this exact second that all fear dissolved and I felt myself expand into the new and vibrant essence of Gemel...............