Sunday, January 24, 2010

Out Of Nowhere................

Out of nowhere they came, torrents of tears held captive within my heart, weighing me down with emotion so raw, that when released the anguish unleashed was absolutely incredible. With all the sorrow that contained its self within me, squirreling away in dark compartments within, giving the illusion to others that I was strong and well adjusted to the circle of changes that I endured, when all along I forged unaided with the burdens that required transcendence. I have felt in control to a point of what I faced, yet, I knew that the agony of a wounded heart nestled waiting for the storm to build to its crescendo allowing the floodgates to open and the transition of healing to sincerely begin, setting forth the sequence of events that will permit the entrance of the new and positive to enter my life. Yesterday was a day of acknowledgement, a day where I saw the love and friendship offered by others, through random acts of kindness and authentic love, I embraced my humbling existence as I witnessed how these people felt towards me, that through a time in my life where I had chosen to stand secluded from the companionship of another, to deal with the traumas I had been dealt alone, I saw with certainty that alone was something I was not. As I cried to all these remarkable people unable to cease the flowing of my tears, as I attempted to control my grief, I knew that the time was right to absolve myself, it was I and only I that was controlling the sadness within, I knew the tears were there, waiting for that pivotal moment when the regeneration of me would begin. I have craved the intimacy of the human touch, the sweet moments of tenderness that comes with a cherished relationship of souls united in love, but now I know that the time is not yet right for that to occur, I still have mourning to do to ensure that I hold no negative aspects inside, I realise that I don't want to keep the pain anymore, it is time to be completely free, and to be free means to wait and to nurture the wholeness of me, to take time to understand and support myself in the healing process, knowing that to rush through it will only hamper my future moments...........

5 comments:

Jaky Astik said...

Relax Gem. Things will get alright over time. Bless your heart :)

Trish and Rob MacGregor said...

Hey Gemel - good post, raw and honest. I was glad to see you stop by our blog tonight! We've missed you!

Natural Moments said...

As a global society, we are taught to bottle up the real us, and to feel bad about displaying feelings. Some say there are appropriate times for feelings to be released. However, whenever we are faced with a moment through the laws of attraction, we must process the feelings. If not, they certainly do get stored until we face them and feel them fully. This is getting to the root of the problem or the issue. We are designed to feel in the Moment. But to feel Now, we must empty out the past by feeling the unresolved issues as they are re-gifted to us. They are in essence ghosts, energy that presents its self over and over again until we get it right and make friends with it, and touch the heart of what matters in front of us. By shaking hands, the bonds are released and we become free to soar towards new possibilities.

Loved your post Gemel....it was full of feeling where love is re-discovered.

Ronda Laveen said...

Acknowledging how you feel at any given moment in time is okay because that is how you feel. Sometimes a simple acknowledgement is very healing and necessary.

Melissa said...

"I knew the tears were there, waiting for that pivotal moment when the regeneration of me would begin"...

what a beautiful statement.

I hope the release of all these tears will get the positive healing energy flowing through you.

I always love how your feelings come through in your words. You are a beautiful writer.
Bless you.