Sometimes............

Sometimes words fail me when I need them the most, yet at this moment I don't feel that I can convey what my heart wants to say. In our life we encounter many people, brought together as our stories unfold, and often we do not know what a gift the presence of these people are, until, well, moments like these. Tears streamed down my face as I read the comments left for us this morning, my heart felt a tenderness so pure that I was overwhelmed with emotion. Thank you seems such a inadequate word, yet it is all that I can think of to say. Blossom is still holding her own, I sat with her all night, dozing off briefly this morning for a few hours, waking in time for our appointment with Craig, Blossom's vet. During the night she drank water and also the tuna juice that I am making for her. She has had a blood sample taken, and Craig, bless his heart was still fairly optimistic that the problem may not be serious, although her heart rate has increased slightly. I have brought her home, and she now rests in front of the fire, peaceful by all accounts, no signs of distress. I know that she is old, and after spending many hours holding her, crying and telling her that if she wishes to go then that is okay, at one stage I had to apologize as her head was saturated with my tears. Little actions mean so much at times of grave illness, even now she prefers to snuggle next to me, head resting on my hand, a act of her love towards me. We are waiting now to hear from the Craig, at which point we may have a decision to make, but until then I have many hours left with my beautiful angel, and not one of them will be taken for granted..

Snuggled Up.........

Snuggled up on my bed waiting for her mum to join her, she has been drinking tuna juice every half an hour or so, which is a positive sign, even got up a couple of times when she smelt the goody bowl nearing her. It is all in the hands of the Universe, all I can do is wait and see what tomorrow brings......

My Princess..................

My princess was rushed to the vets this morning, thank goodness for my dear friend, who was on hand to drive me, she is now resting after our ordeal (Blossom, not my friend!). I have been suffering with a bad cold for weeks now, (deeper meditations and more yoga is required,) after debating on whether I felt well enough to go to work, I decided I would give it a go, even though I felt lightheaded and rather weak. All of a sudden I felt as if a presence was in front of the car, willing me to go home, I needed little persuasion, so home I went. On returning home I found Blossom on my bed, but clearly not herself. I moved her to the warmth of the fire and went to get changed, when I returned I found her vomiting, panting, too weak to stand, I knew this was not good. Having phoned my friend as I was in no fit state to drive, and Blossom was too weak to make the journey in the car without being held, she arrived a few minutes later and off we drove, tears streaming down my face as I told Blossom that if she felt it was time to leave us, it was okay. I loved her now and I always would, I did not wish for her to suffer. Walking into the vets, our favorite nurse who knows and loves Blossom was at the desk, she knew that this was serious, we were ushered into a private room to wait. When Craig came in to see us, I told him what had happened half an hour before, he took all her vital signs, and as it happened, they all seemed good, well good enough for an eighteen year old cat. As we went through all possible causes of Blossoms sudden illness and distress, options on doing a blood test to dig further he was, to my relief reluctant to give up on her, she is he said, one little battler. So after prodding and probing it was decided that perhaps Blossom has come down with a touch of gastroenteritis and the best course of action was to have an antibotic injection and see how she is tomorrow, if there is no change then we can run a blood test and see what that will tell us. I felt a lot calmer on my way home, and as I cradled my beloved cat in my arms I cherished the warmth of her body. It has now been four hours since the trip to the vets, she has not moved, except to have some tuna juice at midday, which she gobbled up very quickly, we have done several meditation together and now she is sleeping. I know that she is an old queen and that I have had her on borrowed time, she has come back from two near death illnesses, I know each moment is so incredibly precious, that if I do have to make that dreadful decision to send her homeward, it will have to be, as much as I adore her, I could not see her suffer........................

Rufus.................

Blossom had some sorrowful news yesterday. Rufus her cousin in England has made the journey across the Rainbow Bridge and back to the dimension of Oneness, to be once again with his lifelong companion Rumpleteaser. Bless his heart, it was all a bit sudden the loss of this elderly feline prince. Life is so precious, we all take for granted the presence of those we cherish, and yet sometimes without any warning, poof, they are taken from us in a flash, leaving us mourning the magic of their companionship. I do not believe in death, not in the sense that the body is all we are, I believe that the body houses the soul, the real us, and when we are required to return to our true home, we shed our body and rise to return to the blissful abode that awaits us. I know that this belief does not stop the grieving of our loved ones, on the contrary, I feel it intensifies the loss, as I know that those that I love, be they animal or human, are still with me watching, loving, waiting; yet out of my reach, I can no longer see them, touch them or speak with them, in the physical sense in any case, not until I too make the journey that will transform me once again into the mists of heaven. As I mourn the passing of this blessed being I send loving thoughts and embraces across the seas to his two mothers, who will be missing the warmth and love of beautiful Rufus..............

My Blossom...............

My Blossom is always happy when the heater is switched on and warming her weary little body, giving me a cute look of appreciation before settling down for an evening nap....... Getting sleepier and sleepier, your head is beginning to feel heavier and............ Heavier............ And off into kitty dreamland, Blossom loves her head to be warm, but for the life of me I can not for a moment see how this sleeping position is comfortable, yet this is her current favorite, bless her.................

Life................

Life, what is it all about anyway? I strive to recall the secrets of the light, and yet with this ever beckoning whisper comes a loneliness, a seclusion from most other people I know. Bored with the normality of daily life I search the quiet corners of my mind, the silent hymns that mingle with the wind holding the keys to the real essence of life. I have reached a place in my story where life is swirling around me as I stand on the periphery waiting, watching and listening to the caressing melodies that tantalize my soul, enticing me to return to the warmth of my heart, the silence of my soul...................

With A Fierce...................

With a fierce storm closing in on us later today the sky was ominous this morning, full of the wrath that is set to unleash it's fury over the next few hours. Storms are cleansing, even though we are helpless against the force in which Mother Nature can wreak havoc upon us, the thrill of a storm stirs a fascination within me, to watch in awe as she breaks free and blasts what ever stands in her way, absolving herself, her tainted body, her contaminated purity, her violated innocence........ With weather alerts indicating ocean swells as high as five meters I will venture out in the hope of capturing the turbulent display of our mother in all her malevolent glory..........

Taking Time...................

Taking time for a little togetherness, this pair of doves have decided that my back garden is the place where they can relax and unwind, knowing that no predators lurk in the bushes. They come everyday, and even when madame and I stroll around the garden they do not fly off, what a gift that is to me, pure trust.......... The warmth of the sun soothes this precious angel to sleep................. (Click to enlarge the picture and the contentment of this bird is clearly visible.) Birds in most cases have lifelong partnerships, they are loyal, loving and deeply devoted not just to each other, but also to the task of caring for their chicks. Many people do not see the glory of these beings, some set traps for them when they enter their gardens, their crime is trivial, their pain excruciating, their torture and death meaningless. Like all birds their daily battle for survival is never ending, with the humans taking control over more and more of the land. What a sorry state the human mind is in to unleash such cruelty to anything that is seen as unfeeling and unintelligent...... In a world where any species that does well and thrives is viewed as vermin, I do wonder if other beings view the human in this way? Delicate and perfect, our Creator in the flesh....................

Food Is..........

Food is more than just food, it becomes our body, our bones, muscles, tissues, nails, brain. To eat unconsciously is to feed your body unconsciously. Each day we all have to eat, some of us loath the idea of feeding our self, let alone our families, some use the term, to slave over a hot stove, which indicates that to nourish the body is a chore, and one that is tiresome at that! Our body is our temple, the only temple incidentally worth worshiping in, it was given to us by our creator, designed just for us, it is unique and astounding in every single way, to abuse it or neglect it is to insult our Creator for his loving gift. When you begin to view the food you eat in a meditative way you will shift the focus on what was once a mundane task into an act of devotion to your self. To select your food with clarity and a loving heart will ensure you will begin to shift your selections of food from unconscious to conscious, you will move away from dead food, the thought of eating an animal will repulse you, the lure of fresh vegetables, grains and pulses will call you, their purity singing to your waking soul. The same for the man made fast food, chocolate, biscuits, cakes, crisps, anything laden with sugar, fat and additives will slowly retreat from your diet as you begin to contemplate daily on what energy you are giving to your body. If you start to feel the food before your eat, picking up an apple and feeling its texture, smelling it, becoming aware of it before you shove it in to your mouth, feel it, really feel it. To prepare all your food in a meditative way is to honor your body as the temple it is, it will see you release abusive eating patterns of eating far too much or too little, both are forms of body abuse. The art of having a balanced body is to love it, and to feed it lovingly is a humble act that will shift your opinion on meal preparation, setting you free from diets that will never work until you realize that feeding your body is an act of love, and to become one with the essence of what it is you are going to eat will shift your awareness from a daily grind into a magical and holy experience...............

There Are...........

There are those in this world who will never stand in their light, so terrified of returning to the true power within are they that they attempt to burden us with their negativity and anger. When the burden of the unconscious behavior of others weighs me down I feel my light being snuffed out, burdened by the negativity around me, hateful actions, vengeful words, vindictive behavior that is design to hurt and destroy those it is aimed at. As much as I allow all others to live their life story the way that they see fit, as it is vital that we all create our world according to our perception, our concept of what is true, at times the anger and aggression that can arise from these people is so nasty and hate filled that I wonder will they ever see the light, the love and connection of all? That we are all One.. Those that direct their hate and anger towards others are those who are in need of the most loving, they are so far away from their heart center that the only way they can feel better is to hurt others, to launch attacks so brutal and abusive that the results of their outburst will have long lasting effects on many around them. Going within the confines of the heart is a terrifying experience to people such as these, to see that their suffering is created by them and no one else would be an insult to them, they would much rather blame anyone and everyone for the state of their life, and usually these people are not content with just their hatred being directed at the said person, no, these people like an audience, a fan club, as many followers as they can get to share their distorted views of the said individual that has been lined up for their hatred and slandering. Enduring an onslaught of this kind is not a pleasant happening, and at times it has the ability to push one off their path (even briefly) as you are drawn into the needless drama. To remain steadfast in your belief of your Self is to stand in truth, to know that any past action is irrelevant in the Now, and to allow the past to hamper your today is unconscious behavior that highlights the pain that resides in a sleeping heart. As I regain my composure and step back into my Now with clarity, I feel my light breaking through the protective barrier to shine once more, pulsating its divine love to those in need of it most................

Thought For The Day.....

A true friend is one who can share a comfortable silence, knowing that words are not always required for your hearts to commune......

This Week..............

This week as I celebrated another year of being Gemel, I reflected upon what being me really means...... Who Am I really, this being called Gemel? As I pass through the years and days of my life I am changing, constantly growing, the me I was last year, last month, last week, yesterday dissolves and a new me merges ready to face the freshness of each new day. I have also discovered that when I think that I know myself a new part of me blossoms from within, with it comes the realization that I will never truly know who I Am, therefore no one else can truly know me either. Of course there are many who think that they know me inside and out, however they do not, they are not me, they are not privy to what it is to be in my body and mind, they are locked into a knowingness of an aspect of me that they have glimpsed from their relationship with me, one that in most cases has since moved on. As I transcend my old thought and behavioral patterns I begin to dissect the memories of the past, with it sees me moving into a new way of being. To look back into the me of my yesterdays is to look into a life of someone else, a person who not only is unknown to the me I Am now, but in some ways is a total stranger. As I shed the layers of myself that hold the hidden secrets inside of me, I know that these secrets hold the keys to my enrichment as I amble forward in my life story, knowing that whatever is given to me by the Universe is given with love, even the painful challenges are given with complete love designed for my self growth, knowing that the suffering and anguish that I have been given throughout my life could not be traded for the easy and harmonious way out, I could not fore go the pain for what I have learned, for what the dynamics of each relationship and situation has given me, to do that would mean that I would not be who I Am today. I believe that we all write our life story before we incarnate into this earthly existence, that we coordinate and cast all that will happen to us, who will assist us in our mortal classroom here on earth, and those that deliver us the harshest lessons are those we love and trust the most in the spirit realms, knowing that we have discussed and agreed that the soul lessons we are undertaking are not going to be easy, and to play the part of an aggressor, abuser of tormentor is no easy feat, it takes a soul great courage to stand firm in their role to ensure that we get the lesson we intended to receive. As I move forward into the unknown pureness of each new day I feel my soul blooming from within, its petals opening slowly to release the sleeping angel that resides within, beckoning me to rise and stand in the acknowledgement of the totality of MySelf............

Anyone Home...........

Anyone Home? One of my regular grows having a little look through the blinds, they do amuse me when they do this, I know they sense me when I am watching them, although they can't see me. Sometimes while others eat, one will just look at the window, walking slowly turning its head from side knowing that someone is there............

Perfection.............

Perfection surrounds us, everywhere in the glory of life there is a miracle emanating its brilliance out into the world. However humble or insignificant it may appear............... Delicate, vulnerable, astounding. Snails are marvelous creatures, slow and methodical they leave a shimmery trail in their wake as they meander, slowly through life............ Stepping on or killing such a elegant form of life would be unforgivable to me, so enthralled by their existence and the sheer feat survival is for them, each moment life threatening predators loom, just waiting for them to appear , leaving the safety of their garden wonderland........ I remember a few years ago I sat in the tranquil gardens of Dove Cottage (home of William Wordsworth), in Grasmere soaking up the warm summer sun, surrounded by the fragrance of roses, wallfowers and honeysuckle drifting in the air, I watched as a solitary snail began its journey across the grassy path. So enthralled was I that time appeared to stand still, lost in the marvel of the astonishing little creature before me, thinking that apart from eating a few plants here and there, they do in fact offer no threat to man at all, yet, many people poison or squash these beings without a second thought. In my garden they roam freely, eating whatever they choose, like all the other garden dwellers, to me our Creator gave them to the world for a reason, and who are we to end their life in a brutal and painful way, if they fancy a nibble here and there in my garden, so be it, the plants will grow a new leaf, after all, they are only doing what our Creator intended them to do........................

Thought For The Day.....

Giving love will heal and transform...........

Wandering Back......................

Wandering back through my memories today I was overcome with a yearning for England........ Whether it is because the weather has finally turned and winter has begun to set in I am unsure, whatever it was I was feeling slightly reminiscent........ Over the last few months I had become so settled here, that returning to the UK to live was beginning to become less appealing, I am comfortable and contented here, with a growing sense of belonging, uncertain whether I do wish to leave again........ But then a sudden glimpse of a true wintry scene can have me doubting myself and wondering what does the future have in store for me...............

Thought For The Day.....

Your only obligation is to be true to yourself..............

Love Is............

Love is suppose to be unconditional right? Yet how many of us are capable of that depth of love? We all seem to have conditions that come with our affections, and in my view this is not the way it should be. If we love someone that does not mean that we own them, we can not choose their friends, their type of work, their hobbies, interests or anything else that makes them who they are. Yet these things are done, not just by spouses, but by friends, children, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles...... It appears many of us have a regulation book that will outline how our beloved family and friends can behave, and if you look deep enough you can see that the rules that are set in place in the affection game can be traced back to the insecurities of the perpetrator. All of us are individuals, we all have free will to become the person we wish to be, whether anyone else likes or agrees with our choice of lifestyle is irrelevant, it is up to us. We are attracted to people that radiated two types of qualities; 1 Those that are following the same type of path, have the same interests. 2 Those that reflect lessons we are required to transcend. Both sets of people are vital for our growth, and if this is stopped in anyway then we become bitter and stagnated as a result. If you love someone it does not mean that you always have to agree with what it is they wish to do, how they may want to live their life, or who they choose as friends. Loving them should mean that you wish them to be happy, assist them as they walk along their path to personal fulfillment, supporting and loving in a therapeutic way, not a controlling one. Not all of us are on the path to personal illumination wishing to transform not only our minds, but also our perception of what is real, but what is more real than unconditional love? Nothing.........

The People I Meet........

The people I meet when I am out and about are usually of the feathery, furry kind.... What is it about ducks that make them so adorable? Their funny little waddle? Their cheekiness? Or just their absolutely beautiful faces? This cheeky little chap spent a great deal of time with me on a recent relaxation session in the park, he knew I had cake and wasn't going anywhere until I shared. How could I resist that face.............

Bless Her.................

Bless her little heart, Blossom had me giggling when she developed a fascination for the pool. I had visions of her jumping so was ready to dive in and save her............... Whatever it was soon lost its appeal, and she waddled off with two things on her mind, food and a cosy fire...........

Walking Along In Life...........

Walking along in life I know that I am never alone, not in the real sense of what being alone means, around me is another realm, the realm where I know I truly come from, the one, when I am done with the soul work of this earthly life I will return to. Does it make life here any easier though? No, not when to going gets tough, and you find yourself wondering what it is you are suppose to do next........... Walking along in silence, and preferably alone, just me, my camera and the company of the nature angels that surround me, the elements hold me captive in their spell of serenity, a place that I can return to to find myself when all around me is not making sense.............. Gazing out across the never ending sight before me has me thinking that life is all about growth. Personal growth. My growth. My journey through life is about transcending old ways, habits, friends, interests when their gifts has been given and it is time to move forward, to take up the next challenge and into the vast unknown................. Yet as I stand here in the vulnerable shell of my confused body, I wonder why do so many people fear change? How can so many people never challenge themselves enough to test the depth of the water, swim out, just a little past their comfort zone and try something new, why do millions stay locked as prisoners of their past? Afraid to believe that there could be something out there that could change their life, thus altering their entire concept of their reality. Whenever I feel that I am drowning in life, having all of my passion and zest sucked out of me I begin a deeper journey into my self, one that sees me pulling away from all the people that I know, questioning all that has happened in my life, and more importantly where it has lead me thus far, and where it is that I am to go to next........ Striving towards fulfillment in my tomorrows depends on the honesty and clarity of my to-day, to go within myself to commune with my higher self to unlock the hidden messages that will illuminate my path, thus aiding the advancement of my soul. I can not stay trapped and confined in a world that holds no promise of spontaneity, growth and adventure, life must be lived, truly enjoyed and embraced on all levels, anything but would be simply existing, and to me that would mean to live a life like a zombie, void of true inner happiness. As we come to blame all and sundry for our unhappiness and disappointments it is easy to slip into a pattern of sleepwalking through life, one foot after another, day after day, marching along to the beat of another mans drum, killing all the joy that fights for recognition with our self. We don't see that we are the ones that cause our emotional highs and lows, no one else, it is of course much easier to believe that you feel crap because someone else will not do the things you want them to do, but the more you pulsate the negative vibrations within you, the more you push away those you wish to love and spend time with you. The key to fulfillment and happiness lies within your hands, and with your ability to believe in the power of your self, the glorious and radiant being that you truly are, forget about the human body that stands there looking back at you in dumbstruck confusion, look deeper into the depths of your own eyes seeing beyond the veil of illusion and into an infinite realm of never-ending possibilities...............

Being A Girl Of.............

Being a girl of my word, here, as promised, flowering grass trees................... I guess you can see how they became known as grass trees, although the foliage is spiky, from a distant it looks to be soft, like long winter grasses swaying in the wind.............

Spectacular...............

Spectacular is the only way I can describe this dazzling display of light and colour, the sky took on hues of golden delight as a tremendous storm unleashed its fury upon all in its wake...... Captivated by the powerful magnificence of this moment had me standing spellbound as I witnessed the wrath of our mother unleashing her mighty power.............

Blossom Is REALLY................

Blossom is REALLY happy because her mum has been home poorly all week, bless me! Madame on the other hand is loving it, the fire is on longer, and mummy is here for extra snacks whenever her tiny tummy rumbles, as well as extended sunning time outside..... Life as my cat is certainly a life of luxury.................