A Lot To Answer For

Having spent another night yet again laying awake in I have decided that the source of all my health challenges at the moment is the prescribed medication. Having spent years and years avoiding even the 'harmless' paracetamol all of a sudden I was inundated with pills, for pain, for inflammation and for post operation infection. With that my body went into shock I am certain, it went from no chemical, well very little anyway, as even my diet (vegan) means that I avoid (by choice) processed foods which of course contain all sorts of concoctions to 'maintain' their shelf life, so my sensitivity to chemicals is I guess around zero. And actually I am proud of that. So enter accident, immobility, illness and pills and what do you get? One sick Gem! I should have guessed straight away what was going on with my body when I became so ill, the symptoms where acute and hit with a such vengeance that I wondered what on earth was going on. It has given me a great deal to ponder, and to be proud of too, I have gone to great lengths to cleanse my body of all traces of animal bi-products and chemicals and here I was all of a sudden taken a handful four times a day. For those of you who do not think about what you eat, what is in the food you eat or the medication you take perhaps you ought to have a think about how you feel and what it is you put into your mouth, and maybe you will find by cutting out prescribed medications and look for an alternative holistic natural option, and sorting out your diet to include more fresh fruits, vegetables, grains and pulses ( I am not saying cut out your flesh foods, just enhance them) you may well find that you could give yourself a complete overhaul, giving your self a new lease on life. After all lets face it, the Doctors are on a kick-back from the Pharmaceutical companies so they want you to be ill, they want to hand you all these lovely little pills, really stuff you up, they don't care about you, you are only a number, and of course a down payment for their Caribbean holiday this year! Your body is your only real home whilst you are incarnated upon this planet and it deserves to be treated with respect and dignity, do yourself a favor and start looking at what you put into it, make some changes and reclaim your health yourself. Choosing to live healthy and eat healthy is a life choice, isn't your life worth it?

Wide Awake

Here I am again, wide awake in the middle of the night unable to fall asleep, I don't have anything on my mind that appears to be keeping me wake, maybe that would help, instead I am just waiting. Perhaps I ought to go and read, have a warm drink and see if that helps.......

A Note from The Universe

You can have what you want, do what you dream, and brave what you fear, Gemel, if you first see it done in your mind. Always works, ALWAYS, The Universe

Blossom has decided that Sultana Bran is great for breakfast........... mmmm has she remembered that she is a cat?

Bless her heart!

When you

When you have conquered issues within your personal relationship, do not use your energy dwelling upon the difficult times staying in the past, celebrate the joyousness of having overcome another of life's lessons and move forward into your tomorrows. When you wake up one day refreshed and revitalised from a long period of illness, allow the suffering to flow away taking with it any traces of your anguish, know that your faith and dedication has cured you. When you feel that you are alone, know that you are not, your angels are always by your side, supporting and loving you, every single day.

Finally

At last the barriers have come down, tears shed and words uttered, words that have been locked deep inside, festering and depleting our very beings. At last we are finally free to move forward together, united as a pair working towards the same destination, home. It has taken many months of personal silences and personal inner turmoil to allow us to reach this position, and yet with a simple conversation with level heads and open hearts finally we have made progress. I feel lightened and free, as if all the turbulence within my soul has evaporated with my drying tears, words that have lingered upon the tip of my tongue have found their voice, and with it I was greeted not with confrontation but with an open and loving heart, one that shares my pain. I have taken responsibility for the decision to move to here, yet I am honest enough with myself to know that with all the sorrow this move has caused us, it has produced many boons that quite frankly I feel we may never have seen if we had not taken this harsh step. I am utterly overwhelmed at the level of openness that was achieved, the honesty that had been lacking as we both dealt with this situation in our own individual way, and at last we know there is no one to blame, we took this step together, it is part of our destiny. We now truly do see our way forward, together, at last, just as it always should have been.

The Way Forward Is

The way forward is, To remember that we are singing from the same hymn sheet!

I Intend To Be Positive But

Believe me I meant what I said the other day about looking for the positive aspects of every single day. Okay today we decided to go and do something different, we decided to go for a drive to the next little town just north of our home, check out the Red Cross Shop for secondhand books, (reading is our passion) sound like a good idea? Yes, we thought so too! We left home about 9 am for a Saturday morning that is not too bad, anyway off we went singing our little hearts out to The Beatles, having a jolly old time. We arrive at our destination at 9:20 ish and it took us around 5 minutes to go through all the books at the Red Cross Shop, so we thought we would go to shop on the other side of the path as we noticed on our last visit that they too had a large collection of secondhand books, but guess what? It was closed. Not a problem we thought, we shall go and have hot drink and wait the 20 minutes for it to open at 10 am, but the cafe opens at 10 to! Okay we thought we would try the other cafe just down the road, so into the car we get, (it was about to rain) drive there in a minute and a half and guess what, yep, closed too, until you guessed it 10 am! Talk about sleepy hollow. We then had a mini debate about whether to go home or wait for the other shop to open, I won I said we have driven all this way, lets wait. So we did, then EVERYTHING opened at 10 am and we spent another 5 minutes checking out the secondhand books, walked outside and said lets go home! Wow, that is as much fun as I could handle for one day, it may sound harsh, and I am not going to wallow, however, there simply is nothing to do here, it is BORING! All I can say is thank goodness for books, the more of them we can get the better its the only way we shall keep sane!

Dawn

This morning the sky was full of dark clouds with promises of rain, as I sat by the fire, candle flickering, I felt peaceful and contented. It had been such a long time since I had been awake to greet the beginning of an new day, and as I sat there this morning enjoying the serenity, the clouds came alive with two pinkish orbs of light that danced their way across the clouds and then disappeared as quickly as the appeared. Magic indeed!

Its Been a Long Time

Its been a very long time since I have enjoyed the stillness of the night, laid awake and listened to the silence, and felt its safety and serenity. Lying there in the quiet, being aware of my body, of me. I always enjoy the wee small hours of the night, being alone, no noise, no distractions, no light, just darkness and silence. It is a wonderful time to appreciate the wholeness and miracle of what I am, WHO I am. It is a time where quiet contemplation is just that, quiet. During the day no matter how quiet you think it is outside or in the house, there is always noise, noises that will intrude into your quiet space as you attempt to connect to the stillness within yourself. Yet at this time of night it is still, quiet and serene, bringing calmness and comfort to my soul. I love to listen to the silence, to how it fills every nook and cranny of the house, of my soul. Stepping outside into the night, being overlooked by thousands of stars twinkling above, the silence is still unbelievably loud. No birds, no traffic, no people, just silence. I have always thought that this is the best time, yet this a time that most people never see, they are too busy sleeping. Yet if they occasionally got up from their bed in those moments of insomnia instead of laying there becoming frustrated with themselves for not being able to return to sleep, they would find that the tranquility would lull their soul back to sleep, by listening and appreciating the silence that surrounds them, allowing the quiet to calm their soul, allowing their thoughts to drift into the night as they just rest there, they would return to the stillness that they are once more. It is a magic time, a time where reflecting on ones thoughts comes naturally, often inspiring solutions to problems that weigh heavy on the mind, a time I find where thoughts flow providing inspiration and solutions to those questions that lurk in the back of your mind. Keeping a journal of my thoughts at these moments has always served me well unleashing the unceasing chatter that can at times prevent me from returning to my sleep, writing allows me to speak to myself, giving myself the ability to listen to what I have to say, what is seldom heard in waking hours, my intrinsic wisdom.

Note from the Universe

When someone is so "desperate" to have what they want to have, do what they want to do, or be who they want to be, Gemel, that they'd rather take little, tiny, teensy steps in the direction of their dreams than face one more single day of doing without, we just can't help but to open the floodgates. It's perhaps our greatest weakness. We bad - The Universe Weather forecast for Perth, Gemel: It's going to be raining love...

Nature Calls

This weekend I am going to go up to a lovely little cafe set amongst the gum trees and enjoy being surrounded by these wonderful little birds. They are delightful and cheeky, so innocent and amusing to watch. I feel that is one of the things that I have missed in these last months, being outside, being with nature, so lavender scones and tea for two coming up!

My Stars

My sparkly stars have returned with a vengeance today, my magical little wonderful stars that burst into view anytime, anywhere, they range from brilliant white to a magnificent blue, and they are tiny, although once in awhile a bigger one appears. I will take this as an indication that I am over the worst of my cleansing period, and it has given me a great feeling of appreciation of my friends in the spirit realm, they often let me get on with it, when the things that I manifest are physically hard and painful, perhaps allowing me to REALLY feel what it is I have given my self to learn and to transcend. Those who know me, know that presently I have been so different from my true self, I had lost my laughter, sparkle, humour, fun, dedication, love and commitment to life, more importantly I had lost these things from myself, I had become totally fixated upon a series of emotions and events, that have caused considerable pain and unhappiness in my life, which in turn has caused physical illness and dis-harmony. I had reached rock bottom, I can tell you that feeling the way I do today there is only one road that I shall be walking on and that is the road back to complete and utter fullness in all areas of my life. I am not doing illness any longer! I am going to believe in the wonderful, compassionate, loving, open, warm and creative woman I am, I need no other to convince me of these things. No one on this planet is any better, more aware, spiritually superior, more loving or whole than me, or you for that matter either. Each of us writes their own own story with each word we utter, every thought we think. It is all about what I say, if I go back and read my earlier diaries, in fact even earlier posts on this site, I know I hold all the answers inside of me, that I am a great and wondrous being who creates all she speaks and thinks about, my my what went wrong? I was far too caught up in the 'drama' I was so hung up on moving to the wrong place and moaning about it over and over again, any wonder why I am ill? Mmmmmm no!! I do not have to beat myself up over this, that is pointless, it is simply enough that I can see that I have learnt more about myself, and I have transcended another hurdle. If I intend to awaken each day and see the negative in where I find myself, then I shall deserve all of the pain and suffering that will come my way. Each day is a blank canvas, I have said that before and meant it, I mean it again, I sit before a blank canvas each and every day, each day I have the capacity to live in joy and harmony, or not. I do not need to know why I have endured these months of anguish, that is irrelevant, the past is gone, over and forgotten, the only relevant time is NOW. I have known that for years now, yet still I too slip into the humanness of this existence and temporarily lose my way, and now I know that that is okay. I am perfect just the way I am, the presence of my stars tell me that.

Thank you Blossom

I was reminded of something when Blossom was poorly earlier this week, and that was not to take anyone you love forgranted, be they human or animal, always let your special people know that you love them, turn around and give your cat one last cuddle before leaving for work, whats a few cat hairs anyway? Always make up after an argument before the end of a day, in fact why argue at all. Blossom may be 'just a cat' to many, to me she is as special as all my family and friends, being a cat does not make her lesser being, I adore her. Let everyone who holds a special place in your heart know that you are happy they share your life, live every day as if it were your last, because quite frankly, one never knows when that may be. Enjoy every moment, even if you find yourself somewhere you do not wish to be, dwelling upon it only prolongs the suffering, and takes you away from those you love. Live life to the full, and love like there is on tomorrow, just like my purrfect and divine little white cat!

Therapy for My Soul

Although I haven't actually ventured down to the shore line, I am going down to the sea side every day now, I always feel more peaceful and relaxed watching the waves crashing, seeing the sun reflecting upon the water always mesmerizes me, lulls me into a deep and calm state of mind.

Who said therapy for the soul was expensive???

Feeling Yuk

Do you know I really am so dreadfully out of sorts at the moment, feeling utterly awful and quite unwell, and if my thoughts are anything to go by then it is actually no surprise! Healer, heal thy self! I seem to be going through a lull in self motivation and discipline, and just when my mobility is returning, how odd! I am feeling rather disgusting my body not its self either, I am actually wondering if I am having a reaction to the medications that I have been advised to take since the operation? I am not a regular medication person and in my healthy frame of mind would never even take a simple pain relief tablet for a headache, as it went against my beliefs, yet here I am popping all sorts of pills, what a surprise that I am having all these dreadful reactions in my usually chemical free body, what an idiot I have been! I have turned into a sheep, one of the obedient zombies that believe all the mindless twaddle that their GP feeds them, no one is a better healer for my body than me, no one knows my body better than me, so why on earth have I been wandering off to see a silly little man in a white coat, when I know the best ways to help myself???? Thing is I feel so ill, (yes I know my words, thoughts and deeds create my reality) so what am I doing speaking about it, moaning about it and acknowledging the pain? Wallowing I guess, time to stop? YES.

Feeling Better Now

Blossom's test result came back yesterday afternoon, and they were ALL clear.

Thank you UNIVERSE, I am so happy and as you can see madame B is doing just fine snuggling by the fire, bless her wonderful little heart.

Blossom

The La La's better work overtime tonight to make sure that Blossom gets better ASAP.

She has just returned from an emergency visit to the vet, bless her little heart she is now resting and happy after two kitty candies. I cannot comprehend what my life would be like without her, she has given me so much since appearing in my life, I adore her, I always look upon her as my gift for being here.

I ask for positive news from the vet tomorrow and assistance from the higher plains in not to take her home just yet, I would be lost without her.

No One

There is no one who hampers your growth towards enlightenment and fulfillment, except your self. There is no one who has the ability to cause unhappiness in your life, only you have that power by allowing their actions or words to penetrate your world. There is no one who has the ability to fix your problems, it is your dedication to returning to yourself that achieves that. There is no one who has more power than you, you are magnificent just how you are. You are like me, a sparkling star so bright and powerful, you too can light your way home and returning to the path of your soul by simply giving intent.

I wish

What I would give to drive down this road right now, get out in the brisk autumn air and go for a long, long walk.

The Time Has Come

The time has arrived for me to get myself back into shape after my accident. This morning has been significant for me as I know that the time for sitting has ended, to be replaced with time for action. It has been months of sitting and hobbling which has lead my mind and body to turn into mush. I know that at first resuming my yoga practice will be like a form of self induced torture, yet with perseverance in a few short weeks I WILL see positive results. I understand the universal law and understand, as I have often said, 'everything happens for a reason' so I shall not beat myself up for my period of incapacitation, on the contrary I have been introduced to another aspect of myself, and reintroduced to my old sparkly self too. Welcome back Gemel, I missed you.

T n T

Last night I had a marvelous time with our new friends T and T (they are dynamite) and even though I know that we only have limited weeks being in the same country, I know that we will share many more adventures together when we too return to the UK. I cannot thank the universe enough for T's appearance in my life, it has been perfect.

Cupboardy Cat

Blossom has just had a mad ten minutes, (at her age that is all she can muster) playing with her new toys. She was given five kitty toys last night from her neighbors Charlie and Oscar, (I shall not say friends, because if you will remember she disgraced herself the other day when we went to visit them.) Blossom really likes one in particular, she has been having a jolly good play with it this morning after her cupboardy cat routine, she goes and stares at the pantry (or any other closed door) and once it is open she goes inside and hides and then comes running out and goes tearing through the whole house at a slow jog! Bless her furry little heart! In any case she is really quite taken with this toy in particular, so much so she has taken it to bed with her.

Cars

Cars what do we really require them for? Getting from A to B? Fashion accessory?? Status symbol??? Of course you guessed the right answer, getting from A to B, after all any fool knows that, right? Wrong. The car has become yet another way of showing your style (or lack of it) and it also serves to let others know how much money you have, which in turn means how much groveling you are required to do. When did the human race become so materialistic and shallow? I am afraid this downward slide into a pointless and material existence started years, and years ago, however I would have to say that people have now lost the plot completely where their cars are concerned, they have become extensions of their personalities, their status in society. People take on another personality when they step into their car, often you can find that an often polite and pleasant person (few and far between where I live presently) take on a whole new persona once they get behind the wheel of their jaunty jalopies, especially if it happens to a sporty little number, a V8 speed machine or a ridiculous four wheel drive, (you know those zippy little cars that mum drops her kiddies off to school in!) The sport car driver, usually some imbecile who has an identity crisis and wants the WORLD to know they are cool, they are hip, they are sexy and of course they have MONEY, they will tailgate behind you looking SO fed up at the fact you are in such a ridiculous little car, and that you are also doing the speed limit. Get out of the way will you? Most of these sporty, 'cool' drivers do not know that speeds kills, they are too busy preening and posing to notice. The V8 driver has a super attitude to go along with their loud and powerful car, they do not like anyone in their way and will intimidate those who are silly enough to do the speed limit and stop them from making as much noise as possible as their push their foot to the floor, deafening those they pass, these drivers are aggressive and usually out of their depth driving a car that is far too powerful if trouble should happen to appear, and in most cases if trouble does appear these idiot drivers survive, killing or seriously injuring others that get in their way. The four wheel drive owner, these seriously self indulgent would-be-snobs (as well as the REAL snobs) use the I am bigger than you therefore get out of my way rule to command total respect whilst on the road. They are generally bullies (because they are better than you) who because of their sheer size will speed along behind you in an attempt to get you out of their way so they can go and terrorize some other poor soul. Oh and why we are on with it, why would any sane person want to take their children or CHILD to school, go to work ALONE or go shopping in a four wheel drive? Because they are completely absorbed in their own importance and utter idiots. Am I mistaken or is there a crisis in the world with fossil fuels, green house emissions??? Should people be actually choosing cars for their fuel saving abilities and by doing so assisting in helping our dying planet, the planet we are raping and destroying with our greed and ever increasing need for a bigger, more powerful over sized car. Me, I drive a tiny little car, one that runs on the smell of an oil rag, finally gets up to the speed limit, after annoying the line of pompous idiots behind me, bless! One that tells the world that I give a damn about the state of this planet. Unfortunately living (currently) in Perth (Australia) you require a car, the public transport is crap, especially where we live, I myself would like nothing better than to revert to the old horse and carriage, however that is not practical in this 'modern' world. But lets face it, people can do their bit to assist, for instance how about walking or riding a bike when you want to go to the local shops, I do, it is good for you, you know they call it exercise! And maybe mothers could actually walk their children to school in the mornings, you know give them some FRESH air and EXERCISE, what a lovely way to start and end their day at school, failing that they could car pool. Sounds too smart! Oh in that case lets give it a miss shall we, I mean when else could we do our posing tottering along in our designer gear??? And what about the commuters, the ones that could easily suggest to others in their offices or work place lets share the expense and journey even though they live a five or ten minute drive away from each other? Don't they realise how much that would help? No! Too far up their own backsides to even consider anyone else, let alone the planet. And they say we are intelligent................... selfish and shallow is more like it! Wake up and think about what you are doing and look at the bigger picture, stop competing to be the best, richest, coolest, fastest, sexiest motorist on the road and start thinking about the future of the planet, the planet your children are going to be left with, god help their souls.

Isn't She Lovely

Blossom had a little adventure the other day, she went to meet Charlie and Oscar, two beautiful cats who live a few houses up the road. Well with Blossom being a lady and all you would have expected her to act with dignity and grace! Did she? No, she was dreadfully rude, hissing and growling at these two cats, in their own home if you don't mind! In fact she showed herself up quite badly, so badly I had to take her home.

Bless her she was happy once she got back inside and promptly went into her favorite basket by the front window and gave me a look of utter disgust! She really is a little madame! Bless her wonderful little heart.

Oh What a Feeling

I have just had the most delightful morning watching my most favourite movie (My Fair Lady) in the WHOLE world, it moved me so much, I cried and laughed, sung and smiled remembering the first time I watched it as a child enchanted and mesmerised, and today I was exactly the same as that little girl captivated once again by a story so delightful that I was totally hypnotized. I remember watching this movie over and over again, and yet today as I sat there glued to my chair it was if I were watching it for the very first time, it has left me feeling so euphoric and jubilant so absolutely buoyant. It has given me confirmation at how the simple things in life hold the key to happiness, who would have thought that by simply watching an old movie that I could have reached such an emotional state, I feel on top of the world, perhaps because I have just realised how far I have come in my own fairy tale (life) and how much I too have to sing about!

Water

Water glistens and I sit mesmerised watching the ripples as they flow outwards, my mind is still, peaceful and so serene as if I have been transported to another world far away, one where all my dreams await me.

The months and days are the travellers of eternity. The years that come and go are also voyagers... I too for years past have been stirred by the sight of a solitary cloud drifting with the wind to ceaseless thoughts of roaming. Matsuo Basho (1644 - 1694)

Dawning of a New Day

Life has finally returned to one of balance and harmony for me, I see that in my desperation of blaming myself for where I found myself, I had been creating more dis-harmony within my life, I was breaking my own rules, ignoring my own beliefs and principals, being caught in the humanness of this restrictive planet.

Although as always I was providing support and inspiration for others I was wallowing in self pity for a decision I viewed as wrong, a decision that I felt had ended my life by moving somewhere that proved to be less that perfect. I guess at times being a person who knows that we as a race are all creators in our own right makes my personal challenges sometimes harder to bear, after all I know that I do not actively dwell upon creating a period of disorder and emotional pain, yet it appears all the same. I know that the past two years (nearly two) have been the greatest challenge I have put myself through, I am beginning to understand why, so I truly am able to understand all aspects of human suffering and pain, and by doing that I really will be of service to others, which is of course what I have dedicated my life too, to help people find their power and in the process, them self.

I have endured many periods in my life that have been difficult to recover from, yet without these wonderful tests where would I be now? And without my personal strength where would I be? Asleep, like millions of other humans who walk this earth in a robotic and hypnotic fashion not even realising that their life is void and empty of any real meaning. I have joined these sleeping millions for a self inflicted period of torment and learning, a time of soul destroying unhappiness that nearly claimed me completely. It is with the arrival of a new and inspiring friend that I have seen what I have done, and as if by magic my life has transformed from depressing and soul destroying to inspiring and uplifting, I have returned to myself.

I know that I have been going over and over the situation that I find myself in over and over again, and with this continual beating that I have subjected myself to I have in fact made the whole issue far worse than it should have been in the first place, I have compounded it. I know the mechanics of the Universe, however I am not so self indulgent to image that I am past learning, after all that is why I am here, why we all choose to return to this planet time after time, to understand every aspect of being human, and to awaken to our own power.

Although I have know these principals for many years I know that that does not mean that I am immune to learning more, if anything it means I have the ability to overcome these challenges and come out the other end healed and understanding another aspect of myself. Sometimes people blame themselves for wasting years of their life on a situation or relationship that has caused them pain, but what is a few years in the reality of what we truly are? Whatever happens in our life that we term as 'bad' is over the moment to next moment begins, the only moment we need worry about is NOW, the past is irrelevant because we can not change it, it has simply given us the ability to see where we should choose love over fear, in doing so returning more to who we really are, inter dimensional beings of light and unconditional love.

Quote

As a person puts on new garments, giving up old ones, the Soul similarly accepts new material bodies, giving up the old and useless ones.......................... Bhargaved Gita

Feeling Yuk!

Feeling somewhat under the weather today, because last night I had some wine, I am certain the longer you go without regular drinking the more you suffer when you do. The answer? Don't do it at all!

As the sun rises for another day I am reminded that I can paint my canvas any way I choose, and by doing that each and every day can be a blessed and blissful experience, it is after all, entirely up to me!

I Miss Winter Because..................

This is what winter should look like, this is the winter I miss, snow and frost, icy mornings dark and cold. Wrapping up in layers topping it off with a fluffy jumper and a nice warm coat, hat, gloves and scarf. Of walking to work with the snow crunching underfoot, of watching the sun catch the dripping ice off the frozen gardens, houses and cars. Of seeing the steam rising from the chimneys and the glow of the houses as I pass. The feeling of getting inside, and feeling the warmth of the radiators that warms the entire house or work place. Of scraping the ice of the windscreen of your car and warming it up before you can drive to work. The beauty in the freshness and purity of the white landscape, its stillness and it transformation into this brilliant magical wonderland. Of clear winter skies that entice you to rug up warm and venture out to the woods or the mountains to enjoy a brisk winter walk, and stopping at a old country pub on the way home for a glass of red and a bowl of steaming soup. Of sitting by the fire, watching the snow falling outside, seeing the robins feeding on the freshly stocked bird table, wondering at how tough these tiny little birds are. The magic of the festive season, of houses decorated in lights, flashing and twinkling, the sounds of carolers singing. Winter in England is the most amazing spectacle where no two days the same, where the view each morning differs from the one before, where clouds range in colours giving a different atmosphere every day, where misty rain can even drench you as it swirls under your umbrella..........soon again I shall enjoy these joys, these simple pleasures of nature at its absolutely amazing best.

You Are What You Think!

To prove I am back on track the Universe has made me giggle again, how? Last night I was speaking of a friend here that I had not heard from in quiet awhile, who I actually miss and although I was slightly miffed that this particular friendship seemed to headed into the recycle department, even though I kept popping in and phoning, the actions were never returned. I was secretly thinking I did not wish that to happen. Guess who called me today????? You guessed it the one and only spoken of friend! Yes the Universe does work in mysterious ways! You really are what you think!!!!!!

A Friend

Sometimes out of the blue you are given a friend, and I mean a real friend just when you require them the most. Someone who arrives at just the right moment, when you had lost faith in humanity, and I guess to some extent your self too. These last months since my accident I have seen and I do mean really seen who my friends are, at a time where I required a little support and companionship I have been given a glimpse of who has been willing to offer me the true hand of friendship (I am not including my friends home in the UK) as they are too far away to visit, yet all of them have contacted me and supported me via phone or email. I guess at a time where physical contact was something that was longed for, someone to assist with errands and conversation to break up my day, the only one to provide this was someone I met three weeks ago, and that has really surprised me. I know we are all bogged down with life, commitments and the mundane tasks that keep us busy, however I know that if I had a friend who was isolated from her family and friends incapacitated and feeling low and vulnerable I would be there to support and to nurture her, making her feel that she is not alone. Even if it was just once or twice, I would make an effort to be there, because that has always been what I have been like, but more importantly I know what it is like to feel alone. I thank the universe for my new found friend, and although she is abandoning me and returning home to the UK in around five weeks, I know that we shall stay in touch, she is one of the few people that you know you are meant to meet, meant to share a portion of your life with, and I am glad to add her to my list of special friends even after such a short time, because I just know we have known each other before and that we have many more happy days to spend together.

Always

Staying true to yourself is the greatest gift you can provide for yourself.

Following your heart, and listening to what your soul is saying to you.

Don't give your power away to others, no matter how tempting they may appear, make your own decisions based on your own thoughts not the thoughts or wishes of others.

See through your own eyes and know that you are perfect and pure, always.

I Love The Sun

Where there is sun or a heater Blossom is never far away, bless her beautiful little heart.

Circles

Around and around in circles I have been going, I have broken my own rules and created my own dis-harmony, perhaps in order to stay stuck? who knows, except me of course. I am not going to repeat my mistakes here again, I understand and know what they are, that I created them, and I know that I can un-create them too, I have seen that I have been but an observer in my life for a period of time, simply sitting here watching becoming worse by the day, living somewhere that I thought, truly thought would be the place to live, only to find it has taken my soul, I am empty, unhappy and soundly asleep inside, and so numb it is heart wrenching. I know that there are no mistakes, that this earthly journey of mine was to include this second time in Australia, yet I am aware enough to know that I must somehow find the strength to carry on, to make it through in a place that makes me so desperately unhappy and lonely, where no matter how hard I have attempted to 'fit' in I never will, my soul belongs elsewhere, thousands of miles away. I will not see my relationship crumble because of this, I understand that we both have the ability to grow and to transcend this move to Australia, yet to do so we must honour ourselves, let go of the past and move forward together as one, because that we truly are, ONE! If I have learnt nothing else from this lifetime, it is that we are not separate from each other, so to blame someone else for our 'unhappiness' is to actually blame our self, and to blame the actions of the past, a 'mistake' for the state of our relationships or life is actually ridiculous, because these events are gone, nothing we can do can ever change the outcome and no amount of 'I told you so's' will ever change the place in which you now stand, you can only do that by actively changing yourself! I know that I created this issue with my knee and my operation as a cry for help from my soul, I had given up, lost my love of life, of spirituality and therefore placed myself into a self inflicted prison, for punishment of my failure. I have not failed, I am capable of creating all I desire by believing in myself, I am also capable of standing on my own two feet, depending on myself for my healing and my inspiration, I need no other to show me the way, I am my own teacher. So often in the quest for spiritual enlightenment you are urged to leave those behind who hamper your growth, however no one hampers any ones growth, you can use others as a scape goat allowing you to put the blame for your so called failings onto someone else, when in fact if you feel you failed, then you managed that all on your own. Many new agers should actually take responsibility for their actions, and their progress instead of allowing their teachers and their peers to give them permission to blame others in their life for the situations they find themselves in, because they are wrong. No one makes us do or say anything we don't want to say, if we give away our power we do so willingly, perhaps because we are not quiet ready to proceed, and you know what? That is okay.