Thursday, March 08, 2007
Why is it that the closer I progress upon my path to Ascension, to awakening to my real self completely do I continue to suffer set backs, which I know are created by me? I know that when I look back to where I was even six months ago I have moved on and changed so much, yet here I am once again with impurities within my body vessel, I know that my thoughts and attitude are creating these physical challenges which frustrates me even more. I feel that the last year and a half has been a major learning curve for me, and that it has left its mark, what appeared to be a great idea at the time has turned out to be far from that, I have spent months and months condemning myself for even thinking about the move to Australia, and since being here I have continued to shall we say beat myself up about it. The simple fact is that I do not wish to be here, and before we go on that is not to say I find the country less than beautiful in its rugged and harsh way, I just do not fit in here. Having come over here for a period of time in 2004 I thought that this would be the ideal place for a new beginning, a fresh chapter, how wrong I was. As it has turned out it has given me something I did not expect, and that is a mourning for what I had, and a country that has become embedded into my bones so dramatically that I find the level of homesickness to difficult to explain. Taking all of this into consideration it is easy to see why I have these continual setbacks with my health, change my thinking............... I know on a spiritual level this is exactly where I am mean to be at this present moment in time, that the lesson that I have to learn here is a monumental one, and once conquered I shall not look back, however that does not make it easy to cope. I guess what I am saying to myself is give yourself a break, know that all is as it should be and that you are supported every step of the way by multitudes of Beings that love you, not to mention the humans sharing your path.