Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Walking My Path.....

 Walking my path is not always easy, often the road becomes rocky, difficult to climb as unexpected hurdles get in my way, causing me to deal with the inner turmoil their presence awakens.
Slowing down to deal with them may seem a burden too heavy to carry as I trudge along, their weight slowing me down, until up ahead I see the light of respite glowing in the distance.
The struggle over, a time of grace beginning. 

I have noted during my life story that whenever I feel overwhelmed with the story I am living, I am presented with an opportunity to view another option, one that others keep telling me I need to live.

I had one such experience last week, a rare nocturnal outing, in the "real world" of the Friday night outing, something I have not been a part of for more years than I can remember.
Catching up with an acquaintance whom I had not seen for many months we agreed to go to a nearby Marina for dinner and a chat, which all seemed like a good idea at the time.
Immediately that I entered the Marina I realised I wanted to leave, it was loud and far too busy, I had not realised how adjusted to serenity I had become.
The place we first chose to get our dinner from was dire, the music was pounding out of the speakers dowsing me immediately with a headache, so loud was the music that one had to shout as loud as one was able so the person sitting next to you could hear your struggled whisper.
If that was not bad enough, the whole scene around me of people appearing to have a 'good' time was saddening, all sitting there dressed in their finery, smiling with dead eyes.
Even though there were many smiles, it was evident to anyone who can read body language, or the energies of others, that 90% of these "happy" people were anything but happy. 
Many people have told me that I need to get out, mingle with the real world once again, but after only a few minutes in this real world, the only thing I wanted to do was retreat to my own space of quiet and calm.
The longer I sat there the more I wanted to depart, finally it was decided that we would eat elsewhere and at last we left.
The whole evening was a gift to me, even though I struggled with the vibrations of those around me, and the pointlessness of the place I was in, for in this chaos, I knew that this is not my reality, never was, never will be.
By leading a life of seclusion I am often told that I need to do join groups/clubs/dating sites, to meet people, but none of these things appeal to me, I would rather meet people the old fashioned way, by the hand of fate, with no intervention of others.
Of course everyone thinks I am missing out on so much fun and companionship by living the way that I do, securely nestled in my secluded abode, but having seem a glimpse of what I am apparently missing I shall not be  changing my lifestyle any time soon.......

1 comment:

muttley said...

"In the world but not of it goes back to something Jesus said. In the hours before his crucifixion, he prayed for all who would believe in him. “My prayer is not that you take them out of the world,” John records him saying, “but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it” (17:15-16)."..... I think you are doing okay