Thursday, August 16, 2012

Sitting.......

 Sitting out in the quiet stillness of night, gazing at the endless beauty above, wondering about many things, mainly about life.
There are so many theories about why we are here, living our stories, and as I sat, I truly did wonder what it is all about.
Each of us has a different belief system, and yet really we are all the same, all waking and walking our way through our next tomorrow, none of us know what each day will bring, we all have hopes, dreams and goals, and the deeper I contemplated the more confounding the whole scenario seemed.
I feel that this age of technology is creating a race of people who are longing for something, they don't know what, but, something is missing inside.
We are bombarded with information on what is right, what is wrong, what we should do, what we can't do, and I feel this is causing the discontentment to escalate.
Is life just about working most of your adult life, in many circumstances in a job that one does not even like, with little time left to discover who you really are, or do the things that call to your heart.
Is life really all about saving for a time when you will be able to stop working, and finally, in your later years be able to begin to actually live.
Questions surged through my mind, all of them leading me to the same conclusion, that life is not about these things.
We are kept busy, too busy, to even take the time to go inside and discover the real boons of this realm, to shed the layers of discontentment and drudgery and begin to live a life of complete happiness.
So many are overcome with hardships and illness as they trudge through their lives attempting to make ends meet, or, living up to the expectations of others, or ones they place upon themselves, what sort of life is that?
And of those living in the war torn countries, living in poverty and disease, in an age where we have the knowledge and the money to alleviate all of this, why does this still happen.
With all the past history of the planet showing us the destruction of wars, greed and violence, why are there so many atrocities still happening?
Why can we not achieve global and personal peace?
Thinking about these things I realised, that even though I have my own discontentments, I am by far blessed compared to others on this planet at this time, at least I have a comfortable home, a steady income and the freedom to do as I please.
Seeing this makes me wonder about my own path, about the rest of my journey left in this realm, should life be about living the dream, or doing what society expects of you?
When you have a heart that is divided between two places and you feel torn between a rock and a hard place the ability to choose your destiny is not an easy one, as I begin to question my existence in such depth I find it is not going to be an easy quest.
Follow my heart I am told, trouble is my heart is divided in two.
To live where I wish to means I leave the only family member I have twelve thousand miles behind me, and this is the hardest decision I have ever had to make.
Sitting here under a canopy of stars I felt that this is not the time to rush, that I must take time to see what will unfold in the coming days, as I have given over the outcome, I have surrendered to the will of destiny to manifest the next chapter of my life.........  

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