Monday, February 26, 2007
I don't know how to start or to describe how I am feeling at the moment, I seem to be surrounded by people who are so caught up in negativity and believing everything that they see and hear, believing that they are unable to change any aspect of their lives because they are too old, to lazy, to content with accepting what 'life' has given them, it is little wonder then that I have developed a severe allergy to of all things the plants that I work with, life in Australia is more than likely what I am allergic to and all the people that I have met so far (with an odd exception) with their narrow minded views, the macho meat head males and the subservient women, who can not see beyond their false nails, breasts, tans and all the other shallow trappings of their rather ignorant lives. Where is someone I can talk too? where is someone who will not ridicule me, who will not make fun of and hold against me all that I believe in, who wants to think about and talk about something other than the pathetic rubbish that is force fed to them daily by newspapers, TV, radio and magazines. Where is someone who can stimulate my mind? someone who will not throw everything I believe in back at me, laugh at me and persecute me just because I dare to break free from the sheep mentality and to forge forward no matter how difficult my path becomes with obstacles and opposition, to know that the closer I become to fulfilling my destiny that harder the ego fights to keep me locked in a battle of believing what I know is truly the truth. I know that dis-easements within the body are not caused by outside forces, I know that I have created this allergy, why? I feel that I am so tired of fighting everyone, every step of the way because I refuse to fit in, to be one of them, to accept life the way they believe it to be, I feel as if sometimes I have a huge weight around me dragging me down deeper and deeper into sleeping world. I feel that I am also getting drawn into the minds of others, maybe another distraction to keep me from my life work, I am so desperately desiring that those I love see that I may have a point, no one is to old too learn to transcend a challenge that they have had in life, to overcome the shackles of the past, that is simply a easy way out, it is much easier to accept and blame everyone else than it is to do the work and create changes within your life. Why are humans so caught up with growing old, why do they think that that gives them an excuse to allow life to waste away into nothing? to send themselves towards the death they fear so much? Why do I care????? Why can I not stay in my own head? I know that this preoccupation with the others that are closely sharing my path is creating a lot of dis-harmony within my journey, it is annoying me so deeply............................hence my allergy!!!!! I mean how could I possibly be allergic to the one aspect of life on Earth that captivates and fills me with awe, nature and all her beauty and creatures, how could I possibly be allergic to that? Impossible!!!!!!!!!! I feel that I must accept that now I am on my path, I must stay in my own head, even when there is old thought patterning that is pushing me to become embroiled in all the dramas and heartache of human life, I must stay true to myself, stay focused upon my journey and my enlightenment, my way home whilst still in this body and on this planet, that is my purpose this life time, nothing else. I have forgotten too that those who are currently sharing my journey are meant to be here, we agreed all of this before we incarnated, so whatever lesson it is we have to learn from each other has not yet be achieved. And to also remember that we each have our own agenda, our own lessons and challenges that we must work through to find our peace........it is to our own self that we must be true, we are the most important person in our life, no one else, only us. That is not to say that I do not love my family and friends, far from it to give them the best of myself I must love and honour myself above all others, which in turn will shower them with all the love and friendship that they could possibly desire, it is only when we stay true to ourselves that we are able to give love to another, no one can give us love, or make us feel happy until we totally love and are happy with ourselves...................... Why had I forgotten all of this? I had been taught this long long ago, yet into the slumber of humanity I slipped, deep into the abyss that surrounds the majority of humanity, those who accept all they read and are told, those who are too afraid to step outside the safety of mass consciousness and begin their journeys home. To question what they are told is true, to begin to know themselves by listening to their inner body, to feel the vibration of life as it pulsates within them, to see beyond the illusion of reality as they perceive it to be, to look with eyes that are willing to see that all is not exactly the way it appears. At least I am back on track now!