If someone had of told me ten weeks ago that I would suddenly be propelled into a healing so deep that all aspects of life would be transformed, I would have disagreed with them completely, as the possibility to step out of the unhappiness that encircled me seemed impossible. So weighed down with living this human existence was I that I had all but given up, I was trapped in a self induced state of suffering and pain. Locked into the turmoil of living in the past, reliving over and over again the mistakes and hurt that had continued to hamper my earthly journey. I struggled endlessly to make sense of this realm, and had shut myself off from the world as I attempted to make it through each day, repeating patterns and behaviours that did nothing but serve the darkness trapped within, taking me deeper into the marsh of darkness.
I have always known that thoughts are things, that every word thought and deed we have births our waking reality, yet still I trudged along with my burden of despair as it fought to take complete control of my life.
Then suddenly it all changed.
I felt the call within to heal, to move out of the mire of depression and dis-easement that had all but crippled my body, snuffing out my light, and dragging me into the depths of dimness that overwhelmed me so.
As I sit here now gazing back to the near past I can see the how the wonderful magic of synchronicity wound its invisible tentacles around me leading towards those who would assist me reclaiming peace and healing in all areas of my life.
Choosing to walk the natural path to healing has taken courage, for I opted to forgo the quick fix of mainstream medicine, instead I gave myself fully to the healing power of plant medicine choosing not to mask the symptoms by taking prescription medications that would stop the pain, instead I surrendered to the pain, feeling the pain that resided within acknowledging it's presence and allowing myself to feel it in its completeness, it was confronting and at times harrowing but I had chosen my path and I committed to my decision of complete and full healing the natural way.
Attempting to explain the changes I feel is futile, as the intensity of my bodies mending is astounding.
I like millions of others had begun to think that others or situations where responsible for my plight, believing that I had no way out, that life was nothing but heartache and suffering, I had bowed to the ego and the mindless babbling within allowing it to fester and near end my human story.
I had forgotten my truth.
And my power to heal.
As the mystery of mending has entered my life everything has changed, and the time has come for me to walk my story in honesty to myself first and foremost, to know that I am responsible for all that manifests within my body and my world.
I am shedding on so many levels, shifting into the way of my heart. Knowing that what lies ahead is written in the joyous vibration of unconditional love, the further I delve into the alchemy of true healing, the more I open to my own wondrous light.
I do not view the struggles I endured as wasted time, for without each and every situation that created the volcano of emotions to reside within lead me to the place I needed to be, such gratitude I have for each and every person who has joined my life story, for without them and their participation I would not have found my way home.
Home is not a place, home is within my heart, and as I continue to shed the layers within, I am molting on the outside too.
Physically I am changing, I listen to the contented hum of my body, taking it's advice on what dietary changes are needed to deepen my healing path, culling acquaintances and out dated stories that no longer serve me, drama of any sort is retreating for I no longer dance to the unsettling rhythm of its meddling beat. Instead I have attracted harmony and love, and most importantly I have found where I truly belong, nestled in the warming embrace of my beloved Gaia and my earthly kin who truly see my light and allow me to shine..........