Sunday, May 26, 2013

A Couple Of Nights....

 A couple of nights ago I opened my normally secluded home to three special people as way of  giving thanks for the part they have played in my transformation to complete healing.
A simple act of sharing food and conversation came from my deep gratitude to all of them.
The light of their love has altered my earthly journey in such a deep and powerful way.

 Preparing my humble space was done with great joy.
Setting my table for others to share a meal is not something I do often.
My love of candlelight added softness to the enchanting energy that entered my home, preparing  for an evening of sharing, my home like I radiated a mellow welcoming vibration.
 Having resided in self inflicted isolation during the dis-easement that violated my being I was content to wallow in the pits of self segregation, the deeper the dis-easement took hold the further I retreated.
I longed for company yet I pushed it away allowing the murky grip of pain to take over all aspects of my life.
Having stepped out of this marsh of unworthiness and into the strength of health I have now found my earthly kin.
People who truly see who I really am.

All my life I had felt that I did not fit in.
That I was on the wrong planet.
I just wanted to go home, to be away from this place of pain and suffering.
This has now all changed. 
And there will be no turning back. 
The commitment to my healing has lead me to where I needed to be, to those who would truly assist in heaving me out of the doom that held me captive.
They take no credit for the part they played, instead they remind me of my own power, the vow I made to myself to walk head on into the pain and beat it with nothing but herbs and love.
As I heal I am seeing a new person emerge. 
A person I did not know I was.
In the last week I have had many moments of amazement as I feel safe enough to be the me that I was destined to be, as my confidence grows I am unfolding, layers upon layers are slipping away drifting off into the ether, taking with them any residue of the past.
My journey has not stopped yet, the call to continue to move deeper into the purity of complete health is a life long quest.
One that will never cease whilst there is still air in my lungs.
One that still has much more murk to move.
One that I open to fully allowing my shimmering light to shine ever brighter as one day turns into the next.
As I rose the next morning and walked into the kitchen and viewed the remnants of the night before I smiled and sank into a chair and sat, still feeling the energy of the evening present at the table.
Sitting in silence I acknowledge the magic of life and of these precious people who have entered my world.
I felt as if my entire story had been constructed to be sitting here in full awareness of this moment.
It felt like everything I had been through was designed to lead me to them.
All the pain and suffering was an important part of my earthly play and if I had of chosen one thing differently then I would not have been sitting where I found myself sitting that morning.
Letting go of fears, of seeing any outcomes at all is empowering, for in giving myself totally to the magical wisdom of the Universe I have set myself free.......


Denise Cummings said...

I am loving being there to witness your discovery of self it is a beauty to behold xoxo

Gemel said...

Bless you Denise.
You are a precious gem in my life.

Arti said...

So glad to have read this post. Thanksgiving to those who have helped you and stood by you in difficult times is so important. Its so fulfilling as well. God Bless Gemel, have a lovely day :)