Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Walking My Path.....

 Walking my path is not always easy, often the road becomes rocky, difficult to climb as unexpected hurdles get in my way, causing me to deal with the inner turmoil their presence awakens.
Slowing down to deal with them may seem a burden too heavy to carry as I trudge along, their weight slowing me down, until up ahead I see the light of respite glowing in the distance.
The struggle over, a time of grace beginning. 

I have noted during my life story that whenever I feel overwhelmed with the story I am living, I am presented with an opportunity to view another option, one that others keep telling me I need to live.

I had one such experience last week, a rare nocturnal outing, in the "real world" of the Friday night outing, something I have not been a part of for more years than I can remember.
Catching up with an acquaintance whom I had not seen for many months we agreed to go to a nearby Marina for dinner and a chat, which all seemed like a good idea at the time.
Immediately that I entered the Marina I realised I wanted to leave, it was loud and far too busy, I had not realised how adjusted to serenity I had become.
The place we first chose to get our dinner from was dire, the music was pounding out of the speakers dowsing me immediately with a headache, so loud was the music that one had to shout as loud as one was able so the person sitting next to you could hear your struggled whisper.
If that was not bad enough, the whole scene around me of people appearing to have a 'good' time was saddening, all sitting there dressed in their finery, smiling with dead eyes.
Even though there were many smiles, it was evident to anyone who can read body language, or the energies of others, that 90% of these "happy" people were anything but happy. 
Many people have told me that I need to get out, mingle with the real world once again, but after only a few minutes in this real world, the only thing I wanted to do was retreat to my own space of quiet and calm.
The longer I sat there the more I wanted to depart, finally it was decided that we would eat elsewhere and at last we left.
The whole evening was a gift to me, even though I struggled with the vibrations of those around me, and the pointlessness of the place I was in, for in this chaos, I knew that this is not my reality, never was, never will be.
By leading a life of seclusion I am often told that I need to do join groups/clubs/dating sites, to meet people, but none of these things appeal to me, I would rather meet people the old fashioned way, by the hand of fate, with no intervention of others.
Of course everyone thinks I am missing out on so much fun and companionship by living the way that I do, securely nestled in my secluded abode, but having seem a glimpse of what I am apparently missing I shall not be  changing my lifestyle any time soon.......

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Ooh, Could This Be....

 Ooh, could this be a storm approaching?
Gusty winds
Dark ominous clouds lurking.
 A rumble of thunder in the distance, a sudden flash of light as lightning illuminates the sky above.
 Then it begins, big, fat summer rain.
 From a hot and sunny morning, to this delicious grey atmospheric midday treat. 

 With enough time granted to collect my cushions before the rain began pelting down, I now have a front row seat, watching and listening to fantastic and natural symphony.
 Cleansing, cathartic and cooling, there is nothing like the pure unadulterated intensity of an electrical storm. 
 What a delightfully unexpected gift from above......

Special Moments......

 Special moments 
The most cherished people in my life
My fur babies........


 Stopping on the way home for a quick meander around my local park I found myself viewing it in a new and surprisingly positive way.
 Having been somewhat discontented living in Perth for many long and often painfully isolating years I discovered this morning I was viewing this scene with a completely new outlook.
 Sure it is a long way from quaint country villages, moors and mountains, but I had to admit, that an effort had been made to add a touch of beauty to the area after the developers had all but destroyed the native habitat.
 The duck folk were resting calmly, and they do radiate a sense of contentment, which might have been why I sat and watched, contemplating the area and it's surrounds. 
 For whatever reason I decided to pen my life to find me living here in this new and disconnected place, I had to acknowledge that I had manifested my arrival here, and as far as I am able to see, it is here I shall be for awhile longer.
 As I sat though I had many images coming to me, of a life lived differently, if I had chosen an alternative path at different stages of my life thus far.
How that would have altered my situation of course I am unable to foresee, suddenly however I felt that I ought to count my blessings, for where I live, and what I have in my life has been created solely by me.

 It is easy to look back, or, to gaze forward, but to sit comfortably with yourself in the present, well, that is the challenge many of us struggle with.
 I have been going through lots of changes in the last five weeks, a time of cleansing, for all the years of unhappiness I have created for myself.
Sitting here though I realised, that my life could be far worse, and in this moment of clarity I saw  that I have a lot to be grateful for.
 Life is what we each make of it, some of us fight against ourselves consistently, which only serves to provide us with more "stuff" to deal with, as if we focus on the hardships, the loss, the negativity, then that is what we will continue to manifest. 
 Letting go is not easy, and allowing yourself to stand alone and work through the baggage of life takes courage, and as I emerge from the quagmire of self destruction I am seeing the power of my own creative abilities.
 I am blessed in so many ways, and I have so much yet to enjoy, so many tomorrows yet to write.
 In the tranquil setting of a man made park I found inspiration for what is yet to come.......