Romantic Love......

 Romantic love often brings more pain than happiness because most people are looking for a quality in the other that is lacking in themselves.

During the first few months/years, this fulfils them as they loose themselves in the illusion that the other person has completed them.

That they have found true love.

Love is not found in need, nor is it found in seeking another to fill that gap of loneliness or emptiness within you.

True love, unconditional love, is only found when you first fully love yourself, only then are you able to come to another as equals. 

The path to love will always be a struggle if you have not done your own inner work first, all of us carry patterning that will keep drawing you into dysfunctional relationships if you do not work through the aspects of yourself that are out of balance, many flit from partner to partner never stopping to take a long look at why love never lasts.

Living a solo life takes strength, and, courage, for the temptation to lure you into unbalanced and unhealthy bondings are frequently sent your way, as I see it, to test the your commitment to your inner truth, to settle for companionship, rather than an unconditional partnership, which would see you in a connection based on need, not on love.

With pressures from society to find that perfect person around the ages of 17 - 25 and settle down for the rest of your life in unending bliss is a huge part of the problem, so are the fairytale Hollywood movies that cause much suffering to those locked in the cycle of isolation and loveless relationships. It is rare to find a couple that met in their teens and have made it to their twilight years and are still both deeply "in" love, many have lead lives deprived of true love and have settled for safety and company because of a fear of living alone. Many will never verbalise their inner most feelings, as many look to them as 'the perfect couple' to allow the truth to escape would be devastating to them, as they would truly have to question their whole life.

Being in love with someone is vastly different to loving them, I know for a fact now, that I for one, have never found true unconditional love with a partner, I had loved them on an ego based level, which in itself is not not wrong, it simply is not what I am looking for in a one on one connection.

Being true to the self and rejecting those sent your way that do not resonate on a soul to soul level is not the path of every person, most do not perceive relationships on such a cellular level, most are still caught up in the pressure society and families place upon them if they are single, for to be single there must be something wrong with you!
And many think they are in love, when in reality they are actually in need.

Being single  for me means living in truth, for it is here you truly see who you are, and in seeing who you are  you able to find, if you are willing to do the work, the greatest love of all, unconditional self love. And attaining this level of love with the self, you realise that there is much more to love than trinkets and chocolates, love is deeper than a diamond ring and white dress, true love transcends time, it is unexplainable. 

Once you learn to love the self fully and completely, you are only then balanced and open enough to attract those of a like vibration, who will see you as you truly are, and, not as a way to heal themselves. 

As we weave our way through life some of us grow and expand into themselves seeing through the propaganda of society and religion that hold the human race in suppression, keeping them trapped in feelings of worthlessness as their journey in life progresses. Some of us wish to bloom to shed the rules of society and seek the link that is missing within our hearts, in doing so growing in distance of those who once held the key to our hearts.
I know how painful this is from experience, realising that I had leave the relationship to be on my own, to explain that I no longer needed the relationship, that there was not a problem, there was just no love, the lesson I had been given was completed, I was ready to really live, to begin again in search for my truth.

Ending a relationship without aggression and anger is confronting for those around us, for we are taught to point a finger at someone else for our pain and suffering, to direct any anger or resentment to the other party as way of making one feel better, to refuse to be drawn into this mindless game  shows deep respect for yourself and your partner.

At the end of the day it is easy to judge others for what choices they make, yet, for those of us who refuse to conform to the customs of society we are scrutinized endlessly by those who cannot fathom our goal.
In standing  as an individual I have found clarity and realisation that by finding the love of myself, I have discovered the love of all................