Saturday, January 30, 2010

Last Night.............

Last night I had a long conversation about finding a new partner, not for me, but for the person I was with. Being freshly single is a shock to any of us, and as I relayed to my friend it takes time to adjust and to find yourself. Many of us are so insecure that the prospect of being alone scares us to death, and instead of taking time needed to work through the layers of emotions that snuggle securely within our heart, we often attach ourselves to the first person that comes along whether or not this is for our best interests. By not taking time to unload the sorrow and hurt that resides inside you repeat patterns of the past, and quite often because of the loneliness you feel you are not that fussy about who it is that finds you attractive, as long as someone does! Being alone for me has been a liberating experience, an intense journey of discovery, I have now shifted to the place of inner happiness and contentment, and I intend to become all that I am able to be, to fill all the voids that I would normally seek in a mate, because this time I want to find a person for the right reasons, not one for filling an aspect of myself that requires assistance. It is confronting indeed to find yourself becoming the sole provider, handy woman, cook and cleaner, but, it is also fulfilling to know that I am capable as all of us are of going it alone, sorting out the garbage within so that when I am healed I will attract someone as centred and independent as I will be. Baggage is something we all have, and it is not necessary to carry it with you from one person to the next. To ensure that you move forward uncluttered from the past you must work through and release the emotions stored within, it sounds difficult I know, but, actually it is not, all it takes is a willingness on your part to manifest yourself into a whole person, and to allocate your self TIME. Rushing into a new relationship is not the answer, often rebound relationships will not work, most often you find yourself in exactly the same situation, if not in a worse one because of of fear of being alone. Being alone is nothing to fear, because in essence we are never alone, surrounded by the company of God/The Universe wherever we are, the disconnection we feel is not because of the lack of physical companionship, it is because we are baulking at the inner work that needs to be done, we just shift the focus onto an easy solution, getting these things from someone else. Modern society has a way of making anyone alone feel like a leper, there is pressure all around to seek and bond with another,because if you don't then there is something wrong with you. Look at all the rubbish women's magazines print, how they continue to tell you how inadequate you are if you do not conform to what they tell you is 'normal.' And peer pressure is another aspect of modern life we have weighing us down, your friends and work colleagues telling you to get out there and find a new person, they are not bothered about the fact that you may not be ready, they just don't like you being unhappy and alone, hence many people end up right back where they started, desperate, confused and unhappy! How many people can honestly say that they are truly content in their relationships? How many are with someone because they were alone and needed someone, anyone to make them feel whole? How many would rather walk away and find a place of inner peace but lack the inner strength to do so? How many wish they had taken the time to wade through the emotional stuff before jumping in with the first person that showed interest in them, because this time it is much worse? Irrational behaviour comes out of desperation or the need to feel loved and attractive by another, trying to make a chance meeting become more than it is highlights this fact. The pressure society places on us makes it worse, but, not as much as the pressure we put our self under by thinking that we are a reject of society because for a moment in time we are on our own, we have to move past what others think, what society tells us to do, and look at what we are actually doing and what it is we actually want. Being alone is liberating, cleansing and freeing if you give yourself the time it takes to get to know who you are, I still have times where I am overcome with sadness, and yet I know that it is what is needed to move through to the next level, to emerge whole and balanced within, therefore I will eventually gravitate towards another who will be as I, settled with who he is and not a just comfort relationship that will fill the emptiness within. Doing the time alone is an investment worth sticking with if wish to transcend the chains of the past.....................

Friday, January 29, 2010

Inside............

Inside we store all sorts of emotions stagnating the flow of our Light, keeping us weighed down with blue days which, if left unattended will turn your inner world murky. Accumulating 'stuff' is done on a daily basis, most of us are unaware of this and from one interaction after another our energy becomes worn out, we tire more easily, we notice aches and pains, headaches, lethargy, anger and stress enter our life on a frequent basis. Identifying where the stuff comes from, and whose stuff it is is no small task, yet as I have found by dealing with my own stuff, it is imperative that we do learn to deal with it and move it out of the body vessel as promptly as possible, thus promoting health and healing to take place. How do you know when it is time to end a relationship? To move jobs? To find new interests? By noticing how you feel when you are doing these things or with the person/persons that cause your energy levels to change. When you are dealing with any major changes yourself, it is vital that you learn to set boundaries where others are concerned, because you going through a transformation period of your life in one area, chances are that this will ripple out to cleanse other areas of your life naturally, this can of course create friction in relationships because others do not understand why you may not be available as often as you used to be, why you have 'changed', which will give your relationship a new dynamic, and may lead to confrontation. By ending one chapter in your life it is only natural that certain other aspects of your life will change, as you begin to transform your self, you will begin to be drawn into new directions. I have found that when I am stuck in a certain area, if I feel that I can't break free of negativity I have to look around, and I mean really look deeply into all areas of my life, from the company I am keeping, conversations I am having to my recreational activities. Honing in on the root cause is never easy, often it is several things that are bound together dragging you further into feelings of unhappiness. With people I have found that if I meditate on our relationship and ask what they are reflecting to me I can usually see what it is I must learn from the dysfunction I am feeling, and whether it is 'my' stuff or theirs. I know that not all people are in our life forever, often we cling to people out of loneliness or fear, but doing this only enhances the negativity that is already overwhelming us. Sometimes you have to sit with yourself and ask why is it you are stuck? What am I talking about with these people? Why am I dissatisfied with my job? Why is this relationship making me stressed? Why do I feel out of balance? Looking deep within will give you the answers you need to rectify any personal situation you find your self in, and by taking the time to sit with your self you will also be given tools to assist you with healing your life, no one else can do this, only you can. Sitting and wallowing, or continually moaning about what is wrong will only bring you more of the same, the key is to learn from what you are feeling or seeing. Be still Stop talking about it and most importantly of all Move on...................

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Honesty............

Honesty
Be honest with yourself
Be honest with your thoughts
Be open with yourself
Allowing your heart to be open
To the pure vibrations of love
When you are honest with yourself
You see the Universe reflecting back to you
All that requires your attention
Change
Is the only way to conquer it
You are the only one who can do it
Release
Free
All that is no longer required
Manifesting
A new tomorrow

It's Time To Let Go..............

It's time to let go of the negative aspects of my life, of habits, people and situations that block the harmony within. I am feeling an inner shift that is naturally urging me to seek harmony where ever I turn, to only gravitate towards those that will enhance my happiness. It is not always easy to move on, especially where other people are concerned, but, I have to be true to my Self, if my heart weighs heavy then there is releasing to do. It does not have to involve conflict, just an easing away allowing the new and positive to enter.......
With each step I take I am inviting refreshing moments to uplift my soul. I think that going to the party the other night confirmed what I already knew deep in my heart, if it is not fun and does not brings the essence of peace and happiness into my life then it is not for me..............

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Thought For The Day.....

When it is cold and raining,
You are more beautiful.

And the snow brings me

even closer to Your Lips.

The Inner Secret, that which was never born,

You are that freshness, and I am with You now.

Rumi

We Are Each...........

We are each of us angels
With only one wing
And we can only fly
Embracing each other

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

I'm Flying Solo..................

I'm flying solo and for the first time ever in my life am headed to a party, ALONE..........
As I head towards the door I know that this one step is going to set into motion a chain of events that will invite more fun and laughter into my own private little cosmic corner of the Universe..........

Too Hot...........

Too hot for doing anything, the heat is unbearable at the moment, bless Spirit, he is doing his best to stay cool as he waits for me to come home.
We have not had any rain for months, the relentless force of summer suppresses us with the harshness of the dry hot winds.... Too lazy to move, can't say that I blame him, it is not always cooler inside, I don't use the air conditioner unless I really can not cope, up to date I have used it three times. Think that the Earth thanks me for that!
Going inside we find Princess Pixie under the table relishing in the coolness of the tiles. She has to endure the heat of the house longer than Spirit and I
I leave windows open for her, often that can be more of a hindrance rather than a help, bless her little heart.
Always grateful for the doors to be open she wastes no time in going to see what is happening out there in the scary world while I get their food ready
And draw a long refreshing cooling bath, where I shall lay and cleanse away the heat of another long, hot day......

Music Can...........

Music can uplift me
In a moment devastate me
Completely
It leads me through the echoes of yesterday
Emotions
Raw
Intense
Lasting
Hiding in the melodies
Romance
Happiness
Contentment
Memories linger in the notes as they float
Across the room
Merging within
Reminiscing
Recalling the closeness of another

I Am Who I Am.......

I am who I am
That is that
I am who I am looking back
You are who I am
Can you imagine that
We are in a society now where being yourself is not advised, you are expected to live up to the expectations of the media, especially women, who have the 'supermodels' and 'movie stars' to compete with, these people are not perfect, most of them are so insecure that they rely on diets, drugs, surgery and the adoration of others to keep them in shape.
The level of disconnection within causes us to fight our inner demons in the wrong direction, attempting to be something we are not, looking for someone, anyone to fill that void inside. In actual fact there is no separation from each other, we all hold the essence of God inside, the separation comes from the dysfunction within our self.
Thus, the key to all the disharmony within is the inability to love our self and to see the glory of our own essence.
Love comes from within, we do not need to seek it outside of our self, to do that we gravitate towards the unbalanced areas within us, not towards the positive, that is why 99% of love affairs fail, we eventually balance the areas that the person filled for us, thus rendering their role in our life over. We deal with this in many different ways, often taking us into periods of upheaval, affairs or hopelessness, there comes a point where you must realise that balancing and loving yourself first is the only way to find a soul love, if not you will continue to be drawn towards people that reflect yourself back to you, which of course will lead you right back to where you where before, stuck!
Doing the work is the most challenging lesson any of us can do, but, it is this lesson alone that will lead us to real, authentic love.
And time ALONE is the only way to find it.
I am learning a lot about myself by living alone, and although touch is what I miss the most there is no way I can justify some sort of fling just to have that need met.
To me that is shallow and of no value to my soul, I have found the divine within me, I have sat in ecstasy with cosmic love flowing in waves throughout my body, which is why I know that only an aware soul will be accepted by me, someone who too sees past the outer shell and into my heart. This moment is what my life has been all about, finding and acknowledging the God within, not just me, but, in every living soul on this planet, each inanimate object too, God is ever present always, yet in the chaos of the 'modern' world we fail to see his love radiated in every corner of the world. If we return to the calling of our heart, we will once again be sitting at One with the divine in every moment of our life.
It all starts by going within.
Just as a caterpillar turns into the magnificent butterfly, so to do we have the ability to shed our self imposed cocoons and spread our wings towards the path of true, pure, cosmic love............

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Walk With Me.............

video

Walk with me as I enjoy the end of another day............

The cooling waters lap gently on my feet, anointing them with the soft caress of my earth Mother, quietly she supports me as I meander, daydreaming of tomorrows, the alluring promises of what is yet to unfold. Seagulls glide overhead, looking for their flock, ready to nest down in safety for the night. As the wind begins to carry the promise of a cool night, where sleep shall come easily................

An Unexpected Surprise..................

An unexpected surprise was waiting for me this morning when I opened the front door to allow the early morning breeze to cool down the house. A late Christmas gift, which set off the tears, yet again! Seems when you require validation from the Universe, confirmation comes in from all directions. There was however a slight unhappiness to the arrival of such a lovely surprise, someone had stolen parts of the contents! The customs declaration on the envelope said there were also books, scarf and gloves in the package, yet, these were not inside, somewhere between the UK's Royal Mail and Australia's Australia Post, it appears that someone decided to help themselves to what was inside, sadly a sign of the times we live in. I was especially thrilled with the napkins and napkin rings though....... Because, as you see, they match perfectly with my new dinner set....................

Playtime......

Playtime for Pixie is anytime, anywhere!
She especially loves to chase my toes and fingers underneath the bed clothes, which is all well and good, except for the fact that her claws are mighty sharp, and to be awoken to the sudden stabbing of a frantic paw claiming its prize is not a personal favourite!
Spirit on the other hand likes nothing more than frolicking with an old dry twig outside, kicking and biting his catch with such vigour that he appears to loose himself in his moment of bliss.......

Out Of Nowhere................

Out of nowhere they came, torrents of tears held captive within my heart, weighing me down with emotion so raw, that when released the anguish unleashed was absolutely incredible. With all the sorrow that contained its self within me, squirreling away in dark compartments within, giving the illusion to others that I was strong and well adjusted to the circle of changes that I endured, when all along I forged unaided with the burdens that required transcendence. I have felt in control to a point of what I faced, yet, I knew that the agony of a wounded heart nestled waiting for the storm to build to its crescendo allowing the floodgates to open and the transition of healing to sincerely begin, setting forth the sequence of events that will permit the entrance of the new and positive to enter my life. Yesterday was a day of acknowledgement, a day where I saw the love and friendship offered by others, through random acts of kindness and authentic love, I embraced my humbling existence as I witnessed how these people felt towards me, that through a time in my life where I had chosen to stand secluded from the companionship of another, to deal with the traumas I had been dealt alone, I saw with certainty that alone was something I was not. As I cried to all these remarkable people unable to cease the flowing of my tears, as I attempted to control my grief, I knew that the time was right to absolve myself, it was I and only I that was controlling the sadness within, I knew the tears were there, waiting for that pivotal moment when the regeneration of me would begin. I have craved the intimacy of the human touch, the sweet moments of tenderness that comes with a cherished relationship of souls united in love, but now I know that the time is not yet right for that to occur, I still have mourning to do to ensure that I hold no negative aspects inside, I realise that I don't want to keep the pain anymore, it is time to be completely free, and to be free means to wait and to nurture the wholeness of me, to take time to understand and support myself in the healing process, knowing that to rush through it will only hamper my future moments...........

Friday, January 22, 2010

Simplicity.............

Simplicity is the answer to a harmonious life.
Cleanse your house by removing all that no longer has any relevance in your life releasing stagnate energy and allowing the new to enter.
Summarise your goals and reassess what is REALLY important to you, get back to nature, being still, sitting quiet.
Be sincere with yourself first and foremost, and from doing so you will attract like minded people to gravitate towards you.
See problems for what they are, don't spend every waking second creating mountains out of molehills, by doing that you take your focus away from what the essence of life is all about.
Seeing the magnificent in the simplest things................

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

I'm Headed To My................

I'm headed to my therapy room for some personal tender loving care, these past five months have been a roller coaster ride, from losing Blossom to the ending of a relationship, moving into a rental house, staring a new job/ career, adjusting to living alone, building a new house (more on that later,) and starting another new job on Friday. I have had far too much to deal with alone. I am often viewed by others as strong, able to cope with all life throws at me, but recently I have noticed that my energy is not quiet as it should be, I am not my normally bouncy self. Weekdays start at 4:30 because a certain black cat likes to have breakfast at that time! Most mornings I feed the cats then hop in the car and head to the beach for a half hour jog/walk along the ocean shore as the Sun comes up, it is utterly relaxing and extremely peaceful, just me and our glorious Creator one on one. Yet for the last week I have not been inspired to go, I realised today that I have to push myself back into action or else........ So with my crystal hearts underneath and my healing and singing bowls on top I am off to do a crystal sound healing session to myself, a delightful inner massage to release the tension of stress overload before it takes hold...................................

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Caring..........

Do you deny your own needs?
Do you take care of yourself?

You must do what is needed to ensure that you are nurtured and honoured especially when you are caring for others.

Take time to enjoy the little luxuries that will add a few stolen moments of pleasure to your life. Take time to acknowledge your importance in this world.

Whatever it is that you do remember it makes a monumental difference to the world, no matter how trivial you contribution may be.

Each and every one of us is

Divine......

Monday, January 18, 2010

Pixie Has A..............

Pixie has a shoe and feather fetish, god love her... Give her either and she is in Kitty Cat Heaven.....
Give her both and she is on cloud nine!
All my friends bring her feathers if they happen to find one on their travels, I actually think that is why she has decided humans aren't that bad.
They bring feathers, and shoes......

Saying Goodbye................

Saying goodbye to this tree is going to break my heart, the owners of the property are going to murder all the trees near the drains because since August the house has flooded three times due to blocked drains, which they feel is caused by tree roots. I am devastated that there is no consideration to the trees, and instead of replacing the old pipes with new PVC ones they are just going to kill the trees. There are SO many birds that are nesting in this tree, not to mention all the insects that reside there, and of course the trees themselves. The energy of this tree in particular is rather astounding, I don't understand how another solution can not be sort, why is it the simplest way around is to always destroy other life forms? Trees like all life forms have senses far more attuned than ours, they hold the vibration of love direct from our mother, how she must cry when her treasures are hacked to death. And I often think how the other trees feel when they see the death of another as they stand by silently observing the ending of a life.

I only trust that the Universe coordinates my day so that I am not around to witness this, I am not certain that I could cope with having to stand by and watch helplessly as these trees are taken. I managed to talk them out of it when I first moved in, they wanted to build a carport onto the house and the same trees would have to have been taken out, I was shocked by this and said that the trees should stay, maybe I could try once again to see if they will listen to reason, although I sense not............

Sunday, January 17, 2010

I Found.............

I found a surprise visitor in my bed this morning, this white tail spider, which by all accounts is one very nasty little critter.. From what I hear these spiders do not make webs but instead look for snug beds and cozy drawers filled with clothes to lurk, if bitten you get very ill and in most cases end up in hospital, so I wasted no time at all relocating this little uninvited guest to the furthest corner of my yard.....

Feeding The Natives............

Feeding the natives courtesy of one of my clients, bless them, they gave me this marzipan apple to eat as a thank you, and I didn't have the heart to tell them that I don't like marzipan, SO, I gave my ants a very BIG treat...................
I think that within minutes the word had got out, there was food. Every ant was on full food collecting alert, busily hurrying on their way to this delicious yummy gift. I have a lot of ant nests in my garden, I won't harm them so they are happily expanding their nests, but that is okay because we have an understanding, they appear to sense that I go out of my way to make sure that I never hurt them intentionally.
I find ants so fascinating, such ordered and loyal little creatures.
Did you know that when they find one of their own dead they will carry the body back to nest to be buried?
And most people think that they have no feelings, what angers me so much is to see a person killing them with ant dust or pouring boiling water over their nest, some even set their nests on fire, god some people are so barbaric to the glorious world that surrounds us.
If you ever take the time to sit and watch ants you will notice that usually they live very peacefully next to other nests of ants. I have ants of all sizes living around my house and they all seem to respect the boundaries of the other nests, very civilized indeed.
I may be strange, well, okay I know I am viewed as strange by most, but, for me watching ants is ultimately relaxing, I think that it is the silent scurrying that attracts me, the seemingly endless running from one place to another, working in harmony for the benefit of the nest, very spiritual I think, I think that they could teach humanity a great deal.........

Pixie's Favourite.........

Pixie's favourite sleeping place..... My wardrobe! Bless her wonderful little heart.....

The Special Moments.......

The special moments are always simple... Being greeted by Spirit when I return home as the setting Sun bestows its loving Light upon us.....
Relaxing in stillness as the evening light fades slowly into heavens...
Sensing the Oneness that connects me to All
Knowing that where ever I look
God
Is always present
Watching
Waiting
For me to return Home....

Saturday, January 16, 2010

The Reason Why............

The reason why we can not see behind us is because the past is not relevant to our Now moments, only what we see in front of us is worthy of our full attention. The less one visits the past and whatever mistakes and traumas reside there the happier and more flowing ones life is. The more you focus on growing as a person, climbing your own mountain of personal growth is what life is really all about, to transcend the hurdles thrown in our way, and putting into perspective how 'bad' your life really is. I realise that my life has been a little challenging of late, but, I am glad that I have written my story the way I have and not been struck with a much harsher life, of earthquakes or war, in comparison my life is a dream, and I realise that I am indeed blessed. Looking only towards the positivity of tomorrow is all that is important, I know that with a positive attitude I will attract the like vibrations sending situations and people into my life story that will only bring harmony and happiness into my world. It is time to move forward from all the negative aspects of my life and give thanks for the new, harmonious and exciting to enter.................................

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Who Is That.......

Who is that sitting on the dinning table?
A place where one is not suppose to sleep!!!!!!
Well it's little miss Pixie!
Looking all coy and cute, trying not to get yelled at....
Looking away didn't help her I'm afraid, after I documented the evidence it was a slap on the bottom and off to bed for one naughty impish kitten..........

The Art Of Relaxation.............

The art of relaxation comes as second nature to Spirit cat..................
Enjoying the end of another sweltering day his Lordship made me giggle as I made my way to the back door, 'It's alright for some" I said.
He simply lifted his head and gave that look. Whens dinner.......

Quiet Times......

Quiet times when the only sounds I hear are the jingling of Spirit's bell, the lazy morning chorus of my gardens birds, rustling leaves, my own relaxed breathing. Resting in the simplicity of doing nothing, just sitting, rejuvenating and aligning myself, pondering the essence of me.

Why am I here?

Why did I choose to live in this day and age of disconnection?

Why do I feel such an overwhelming sense of not belonging, to this time or the planet?

Spending time with me, is healing and attuning me to deep changes that are on their way, my questions are unanswered and misunderstood by all that know me, too caught up are they in the mundane illusion of "modern" life to hear what I am saying or understand what I mean, listening to each other is a lost art as is the ability of truly seeing each other.

Alone I walk, alone I stand, alone I must find my truth...........

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Once In Awhile...............

Once in awhile I manage to capture a perfect moment, a reflection of purity, this I feel is one such moment.
The essence of an angel connecting with the eyes of her brother seconds before her playtime last night. Gazing at this image fills me with stillness, I feel so connected to the powerful energy that radiates throughout the Universe through the connection of one little cat, glimpses such as this happen constantly yet in our distraction with living our life we often fail to witness such angelic moments that appear endlessly before our blinded eyes.
It takes but a second to pause and breathe,
to lift our eyes heavenward to watch the flight of a bird,
the wind teasing the leaves on the trees,
the graceful dance of drifting clouds, silently meandering across the vast blue sky.
Moments of innocence have the profound ability to take us back to our self, showing us the reality that life is really all about, the natural serenity of a gift given long ago, of a world that if more of us took the time to visit perhaps we would begin to heal our ravaged Earth M0ther...............

Pixie's Playtime

Pixie's playtime turns the front room into a disaster area, just as well I don't mind picking after her because she tends to play with everything..... Developing her soccer skills..............
Fine tuning her reflexes....
Tuning in for the moment of capture.....................
Kitten heaven......