It is still dark, rain is softly pattering against my window.
My cats all sleeping peacefully as I type away.
The world around me sleeps, the new day still hours away.
I feel awaken and inspired, the sense of restlessness that entwines me has me wondering about my life here.Visiting my house again yesterday with a friend I was reassured that I have no attachment to it, I simply don't want it.
My friend was bubbling over with enthusiasm for me telling me how wonderful it will be to have my own home.
It is going to be great for you, she said.
It's funny though, no one seems to see that I am just not interested, that as we look around I lack any sort of normal interest in the home?
To me there seems no point to it, it is empty.
I made the decision to build it at an emotional time, when everyone I knew kept telling me it was the best thing that I could do.
When I look at this society where I currently live, I realise that I just don't fit in, I do not strive towards ownership and status.
Here, as in many other places you are categorised on what sort of house you have, how many bedrooms, how many kitchens and living areas are in your house.
What size is the block of land?
Do you have a pool or a spa?
How many cars do you have and what sort are they?
It all seems so shallow and pointless. Thousands of people are working to have a house, they are shackled to a mortgage that weighs them down in most cases just to have the dream of owning their own home, but they don't seem to see that there is more to life than a house, and a car and a job.
What about the spiritual aspect of life?
Of inner growth and realisation that this stuff we keep accumulating actually means nothing.
I have seen life from many different vantage points, and the further along my journey home that I get the materialistic way of life seems totally foreign to me.
It doesn't fit with me.
I feel trapped.
Life is being kept from me as I cornered myself into the "normal" way of life.
My soul is craving another avenue, an intrinsic, spiritual way of life is beckoning me.
A life of meaning filled with love.
A journey perhaps that is yet to begin.........................