Last Friday evening a friend came to visit and suggested we go up to see how my house was coming along.
Seems funny that I have little excitement over this venture, everyone else seems far more inspired than I.
I have my moments where I find a tiny spark of enthusiasm, yet really my heart is not in it.
Having arrived in the dark we discovered that the first coat of plastering had been done, soon I will be locked out it until it is ready for handover.
It felt a little odd to be gallivanting around a building site in the dark, the only way we could see was for me to keep taking photos, that way the flash illuminated our way.
My friend was like most others are when they are with me when I visit, she was full of ideas and bubbling over with happiness at my nearly completed home. As I looked around me I realised that I see it as a chain, a huge weight that is clambering for control over me. It was never really what I envisaged my self doing, not really where I see myself being. But for the interim period until I know for sure where it is I will call home it will do I expect. I know I will not have a problem turning it into a home, I honour myself enough to always create a loving environment for myself no matter where I am. As I was chauffeured away however, I had a feeling of detachment, not just the house but also to this country. Somewhere else calls me, luring me away by silently tugging on my heart............