Tuesday, July 14, 2009

How...................

How do you release someone who is held so tightly in heart? How do you find the strength to place one foot in front of the other, continuing your life, when someone so precious is now out of your reach? How do your regain your inspiration and joy? Having made it through the first night was a feat in its self, I felt my beloved Blossom next to me, within me, forever close, yet it is the physical presence that I shall crave, to hold her, feel her, smell her, hear her, cradling her within my arms. I have lost a part of me, when she left so did a piece of my heart, torn from me as she returned home, to peace. Those who I love have surrounded me, their love oozing out mingling with my fragile heart, caressing my soul as it morns the loss of my precious girl. There are those who think that a cat is a cat, merely a pet, for me Blossom was my family, my love, my life, and without her I am missing a part of me, a part that will only be complete when I too cross the rainbow bridge and join her for the rest of our tomorrows. As a candle burns next to her portrait, (one that was given to me from a friend for my birthday last month,) I feel her with me, watching and comforting me as I grieve her passing. I know that I had her on borrowed time, that the Universe gave us each other for a reason, that she was meant to leave yesterday, her destiny fulfilled. I shall never forget the day that we were given to each other, the voice that told me during my walk that it was imperative that I return home a certain way, and as I walked I wondered, what is it that is going to happen? Little did I know that heaven was waiting. Blossom gave me love like nothing I have experienced before, pure, unconditional, and I returned the same to her, we were one. Are one, always together. As I held her next to my heart as she left this world, whispering my undying love to her, a dog began to howl, calling her home, how connected our furry companions are, they are aware of all that is not seen, unsaid, how much they give us. As my dear friend supported me during Blossoms passing rubbing my back, she said that as Blossom was preparing to go my stomach started to gurgle and churn, so loudly that she placed her her hand upon my side, and once Blossom had left, it stopped. She said that her essence transferred to me, her strength and breath given, her final physical gift. I know that she is next to me always now, never away from my side, yet, how do I remain here without her, how can this world ever be the same.................

8 comments:

Mel said...

Quite simply - it won't be. It's different now and all we can do is take those unsteady steps onward...

I can so feel your pain..really I can. When we lost our Rosie the only thing that got me out of bed in the morning was having to look after our baby girl..otherwise..well, who knows?

And even now, five years later, her absence is deeply felt, such was the impact she had on my life...

It's terribly cliche, but the passage of time helps....

Thinking of you....and Blossom...lighting a candle for you both...

Marlene said...

My heart goes out to you....I know the pain well. I felt it again as I read your post..the feelings of loss which I experienced with both my angels as I held them and they left this earth..and something in you changes..saying goodbye is so hard..painful..I felt so empty for the first few days...she will visit you in your dreams..to tell you she is happy and safe free from the burden of her physical body that had grown weak..it will get better with time, and when you are ready you will love again..I promise you...Marlene

Here Under the Rainbow said...

I'm sadden by your loss.

Trina said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Even when it is their time, I think part of us always wants to fight it anyway. She was blessed to have found you, and you will be together again someday.

Nancy said...

Oh, dear Gemel, the loss of your beloved is so hard. I wish I had words that could help, but words just don't have any meaning until the grief eases a bit. Love, blessings and light heading your way in this hour of sadness.

Melissa said...

I thought about you a lot last night. I am very sad to for you. You write so beautifully. I lost my best friend to cancer 5 years ago and I still miss her so much. I feel her with me and still smell her scent. I shall never forget her either.

Blossom was a part of your soul, you were meant to be on this journey together. She was a precious gift. I feel that about my friend too. The purity of unconditional love is so precious.

It really is so hard to say goodbye. I wish you love, light and peace.

That painting of Blossom is beautiful. Thinking of you.

CrazyBunnyLady said...

I'm so sorry.

Mandi said...

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