Friday, September 14, 2007

Can't Sleep

I have developed a pattern it appears, if you can call two nights a pattern? I wake at 1 am and then fail to return to sleep. I always advise people who are a unable to sleep to write down what ever is on their mind......................I have lots of stuff whirling around my head, gardening, what to wear tonight ( I am actually going out, shock horror), getting the spare room (my midnight sanctuary) sorted out so that it is a more restful room, detoxing (in preparation for my fast approaching surgery), getting back into yoga, quite a bit for ones brain at this hour of the night.

Not quite certain what woke me up, yet as always when I wake Madame B awakens too, she has had her midnight feast and I returned her to bed, at least one of us ought to get our beauty sleep. I sometimes like these quite nocturnal hours to myself, it is so still and sedate at this hour of the night. Often I will wander about the back garden (oops sorry, sandpit) watching the stars, gazing at the moon, breathing in the luminous glow that radiates from her core. I can feel the presence of my guides and angels at this hour of the night, feeling so small and at times insignificant as I stare at the vastness of the sky that looms above me. Wondering how many star people are watching me at the very same moment.
My knee is also very painful, I have had to take a couple of tablets, something I avoid as much as I am able, perhaps that is what woke me??? I think too much at this time of night, I go over what has happened the day before, what I wish to do tomorrow..................thinking Gemel you ought to know better, you only need to BE.

Stillness has been lacking greatly from my life of late, you would think that with all the time I have I would not have a problem attaining my stillness, yet I do. I know that I have been my own worst enemy, which of course if we are honest, we all are. I stand in my way sometimes so defiantly, offering resistance to myself for all that I wish to achieve, and then I beat myself up about what I
have done, stupid really, still how many of us are remorseful at such behaviour? We only have ourselves to accuse if our life is less than perfect, yet this is the wrong course of action to apply, letting it go and accepting what has been is the only way forward, what is done is done, past and unable to be changed, therefore carrying with you the burdens of yesterday serves you no purpose at all, it only gives you an excuse not to live your life fully present and in true harmony.

And with that said I am off to bed!

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