Friday, May 25, 2007
My sparkly stars have returned with a vengeance today, my magical little wonderful stars that burst into view anytime, anywhere, they range from brilliant white to a magnificent blue, and they are tiny, although once in awhile a bigger one appears. I will take this as an indication that I am over the worst of my cleansing period, and it has given me a great feeling of appreciation of my friends in the spirit realm, they often let me get on with it, when the things that I manifest are physically hard and painful, perhaps allowing me to REALLY feel what it is I have given my self to learn and to transcend. Those who know me, know that presently I have been so different from my true self, I had lost my laughter, sparkle, humour, fun, dedication, love and commitment to life, more importantly I had lost these things from myself, I had become totally fixated upon a series of emotions and events, that have caused considerable pain and unhappiness in my life, which in turn has caused physical illness and dis-harmony. I had reached rock bottom, I can tell you that feeling the way I do today there is only one road that I shall be walking on and that is the road back to complete and utter fullness in all areas of my life. I am not doing illness any longer! I am going to believe in the wonderful, compassionate, loving, open, warm and creative woman I am, I need no other to convince me of these things. No one on this planet is any better, more aware, spiritually superior, more loving or whole than me, or you for that matter either. Each of us writes their own own story with each word we utter, every thought we think. It is all about what I say, if I go back and read my earlier diaries, in fact even earlier posts on this site, I know I hold all the answers inside of me, that I am a great and wondrous being who creates all she speaks and thinks about, my my what went wrong? I was far too caught up in the 'drama' I was so hung up on moving to the wrong place and moaning about it over and over again, any wonder why I am ill? Mmmmmm no!! I do not have to beat myself up over this, that is pointless, it is simply enough that I can see that I have learnt more about myself, and I have transcended another hurdle. If I intend to awaken each day and see the negative in where I find myself, then I shall deserve all of the pain and suffering that will come my way. Each day is a blank canvas, I have said that before and meant it, I mean it again, I sit before a blank canvas each and every day, each day I have the capacity to live in joy and harmony, or not. I do not need to know why I have endured these months of anguish, that is irrelevant, the past is gone, over and forgotten, the only relevant time is NOW. I have known that for years now, yet still I too slip into the humanness of this existence and temporarily lose my way, and now I know that that is okay. I am perfect just the way I am, the presence of my stars tell me that.