Life has finally returned to one of balance and harmony for me, I see that in my desperation of blaming myself for where I found myself, I had been creating more dis-harmony within my life, I was breaking my own rules, ignoring my own beliefs and principals, being caught in the humanness of this restrictive planet.
Although as always I was providing support and inspiration for others I was wallowing in self pity for a decision I viewed as wrong, a decision that I felt had ended my life by moving somewhere that proved to be less that perfect. I guess at times being a person who knows that we as a race are all creators in our own right makes my personal challenges sometimes harder to bear, after all I know that I do not actively dwell upon creating a period of disorder and emotional pain, yet it appears all the same. I know that the past two years (nearly two) have been the greatest challenge I have put myself through, I am beginning to understand why, so I truly am able to understand all aspects of human suffering and pain, and by doing that I really will be of service to others, which is of course what I have dedicated my life too, to help people find their power and in the process, them self.
I have endured many periods in my life that have been difficult to recover from, yet without these wonderful tests where would I be now? And without my personal strength where would I be? Asleep, like millions of other humans who walk this earth in a robotic and hypnotic fashion not even realising that their life is void and empty of any real meaning. I have joined these sleeping millions for a self inflicted period of torment and learning, a time of soul destroying unhappiness that nearly claimed me completely. It is with the arrival of a new and inspiring friend that I have seen what I have done, and as if by magic my life has transformed from depressing and soul destroying to inspiring and uplifting, I have returned to myself.
I know that I have been going over and over the situation that I find myself in over and over again, and with this continual beating that I have subjected myself to I have in fact made the whole issue far worse than it should have been in the first place, I have compounded it. I know the mechanics of the Universe, however I am not so self indulgent to image that I am past learning, after all that is why I am here, why we all choose to return to this planet time after time, to understand every aspect of being human, and to awaken to our own power.
Although I have know these principals for many years I know that that does not mean that I am immune to learning more, if anything it means I have the ability to overcome these challenges and come out the other end healed and understanding another aspect of myself. Sometimes people blame themselves for wasting years of their life on a situation or relationship that has caused them pain, but what is a few years in the reality of what we truly are? Whatever happens in our life that we term as 'bad' is over the moment to next moment begins, the only moment we need worry about is NOW, the past is irrelevant because we can not change it, it has simply given us the ability to see where we should choose love over fear, in doing so returning more to who we really are, inter dimensional beings of light and unconditional love.